You're Not Enough (And That's Okay) summary

Not long after she graduated from college, the author, Allie Beth Stuckey, was told she was going to die. But she wasn’t in the ER or being held up at gunpoint; she was sitting in a counseling session. She’d sought counseling when she realized that some self-destructive habits had become a way of life.

Through counseling, Stuckey unearthed the root of her harmful behavior: a devastating breakup in her senior year. To cope, she had started using flings and alcohol to mask the pain of rejection. She also became fixated on the idea that she wasn’t enough – and that she should be. If she wanted to attract men, she convinced herself, she needed to be skinnier. Soon, she was throwing up everything she ate.

Chloe was on the adventure of a lifetime. She’d left her Texan hometown and was backpacking through Europe on a journey of self-discovery. But she wasn’t just traveling to see the sites. Back home, she had survived a brutal rape and then developed addictions to drugs and alcohol, which she’d used to numb her pain. Now, having overcome those addictions, she was bravely walking the path of inner healing, asserting her self-worth every step of the way.

Authors, travel bloggers, and friends had told Chloe that following her heart would heal her; she just needed to be true to herself by living in the moment. For Chloe, this meant getting together with a new guy in every town she visited. But all that did was make her feel ashamed and used when her lovers inevitably disappeared. Living her truth wasn’t leading to happiness at all.

When she was in middle school, Stuckey was desperate to get her eyebrows waxed. But her mom wouldn’t let her. So Stuckey took matters into her own hands. Using her mom’s razor, she attempted a DIY brow shape. The end result? She accidentally cut off half an eyebrow. And, of course, school pictures were being taken the next day.

Like many girls, Stuckey had been told from a young age that she was perfect. But, at the same time, she was consistently being told that she needed to do something to make herself perfect. She had to shave her legs, and wear makeup, and crimp her hair. That way, she’d be able to unleash her true perfection. But perfection – inside and out – is nothing but a delusion.

From a young age, Stuckey knew that public speaking was her professional calling. She just wasn’t sure how to make it happen. But her interest in politics eventually gave her the entry point she needed. In 2015, she started talking to sororities about the importance of voting in presidential primary elections. By 2017, Fox News was booking her on its shows.

Now, Stuckey is living her dream career – writing books, hosting a podcast, and commentating on TV. She works from home and gets paid to do something she loves. But that doesn’t mean every workday is filled with joy. Her happiness ebbs and flows with the successes and challenges her job brings. Even the perfect job isn’t enough.

In the summer after junior year in high school, Stuckey volunteered at Camp Barnabas, a camp for people with special needs. She spent the week helping her assigned camper have the best time possible. It was hard work, but more rewarding than Stuckey had ever imagined. She loved the experience so much that, the following year, she worked at Camp Barnabas for six weeks.

During those weeks, Stuckey helped campers in all kinds of different ways. She fed, bathed, and comforted them. It was the first time she’d ever been called on to love another person without expecting anything in return. Stuckey was a typical teenager, insecure and self-focused. She certainly wasn’t flooded with self-love. And yet, that didn’t stop her from tending to the needs of the campers in her care.