Closer to Love summary

You can’t give what you don’t have. So you can’t begin to form meaningful connections when you have yet to establish a true connection with yourself. That’s why if you want to experience love in its most authentic form, it’s vital to embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-love first.

When you cultivate love in yourself instead of searching for it in other people, relationships will be easier to handle. That’s because you’ll have a secure sense of individuality. You’ll be able to connect better and attract the right kind of partner for you. 

When Rory’s parents separated, things started changing for him. He was constantly left alone, moving houses all the time, and didn’t have as much stability as before. This put a significant toll on him and how he viewed love. Before he knew it, he was jumping from one girlfriend to the next and struggled to express his emotions openly. 

In many different ways, we are all similar to Rory. Our parents may not have separated, but we still carry a past that molded us into who we are now. We are made up of our upbringing, cultural beliefs, gained knowledge, traumas, and hoarded pain from past relationships.  

Relationships are so complex that you can’t just jump into one blindly. Just as a ship needs navigation equipment to reach its destination, you and your partner need relationship rules to increase your chances of success. 

Vex King outlines ten important relationship rules that can guide you on this journey. 

Not every romantic partner you’ll encounter will be picture-perfect. And try as you may, you won’t be picture-perfect in every romantic relationship, either. Regardless of your emotional or intellectual maturity, you will inevitably exhibit unhealthy behaviors. That’s because you carry triggers developed from your past experiences. When your partner sets off those triggers, you are bound to react in negative ways. 

The good news is that you can break the pattern of those unhealthy behaviors, creating a healthy relationship in the process. The first step in doing so is to look inward. What incites your triggers? Where are they coming from? By knowing the root cause of your emotions, you become aware of them and the damage they make to the relationship. This also helps you understand yourself better. 

To be in a relationship is a journey, but sometimes, that journey reaches a crossroads. People change, the love dies out, and the differences are just too big to be ignored. But this should never be seen as a failure. Some relationships are meant to end to teach you valuable lessons you can carry forward. Unfortunately, some remain reluctant to read the signs, unsure when it’s time to let the relationship go. If you find yourself in such a situation, there are several indicators to watch out for. 

One glaring sign is when the relationship is already damaging to you. You’re no longer yourself, and you lose your self-esteem in the process, too.