Positively Energizing Leadership summary

We’ve just learned that virtuous and positive behavior drives physiological healing in individuals. But that’s not all. It also produces positive outcomes for interpersonal and group relations. Simply put, encouragement, recognition, security, and support help people thrive. 

Think about it – do you feel motivated to perform better when your boss sends you a harshly worded email listing all the things you did wrong? Or do you try harder when they praise, thank, and highlight what you did right, then gently and tactfully suggest small tweaks to what might be improved? The former tends to degrade relationships, while the latter reflects compassion, generosity, gratitude, and kindness – all of which are essential for maximizing positive impact, performance, and energy. 

In 2020, as nation after nation closed up to avoid Covid-19, one country managed to sidestep a full lockdown. Many argued that Sweden avoided a complete lockdown because of its culture of high trust in institutions and civic society. Evidence from other countries would bear this out. In the US, by contrast, where rates of Covid deaths were astronomically high, levels of trust are astonishingly low: only 8 percent of the nation trust political parties, 12 percent trust big companies, 22 percent trust their employers, and 34 percent believe that other citizens can be generally trusted. 

Without integrity and trust, positively energizing leadership becomes impossible. Relationships break down, as do institutions and communities. 

Remember those terrifying, wraithlike creatures called dementors from Harry Potter? One Hogwarts professor described them as “the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them.” In the story, anyone who gets too close to a dementor is drained of all their happy memories and feelings.

You might know someone in your life or workplace who fits this description – who is toxically divisive, abrasive, and negative to the point that they seem to suck all the light and life out of a room. So what can you do when you’re confronted with them? Here are a few strategies.

Gratitude and humility go together – one necessitates the presence of the other. Both gratitude and humility imply a sense of recognizing and appreciating other people’s strengths and unique abilities. They reflect a willingness to view one’s own contributions – both mistakes and strengths – with accuracy. They also show a tolerance of others’ capacities and weaknesses, and an openness toward feedback and instruction. 

And research has revealed a connection between gratitude and evolution. Psychologist Kristin Bonnie and primatologist Frans de Waal discovered that gratitude is universal, across not only languages and cultures but also species. Studying both young children and primates, they found that gratitude is biologically inherent in monkeys as well as human beings.