Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love
How many pathways of self-betterment have you followed? Perhaps you’ve read some books, changed your diet, and listened to podcasts. But nothing you try yields a lasting result. So you embrace the next remedy, looking for the key that will unlock the perfect you, the version of yourself that will bring you the happiness you deserve.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In America, many people are on this hunt for self-love. It all started 50 years ago when psychologists identified self-esteem as a way to solve society’s problems, from crime to poor education. But unfortunately, shifting our focus onto how we feel about ourselves has actually made us less happy.
The key message here is: Aspiring to self-love won’t bring you peace or fulfillment.
When you were young, you probably had some grand aspirations. Maybe you were going to be the next Britney Spears. But as you grew older, you came to understand that your dream might actually be a delusion. As much as you longed to be a pop princess, you just didn’t have the talent. You weren’t enough – who you were as a person just wasn’t sufficient to make your dream a reality.
And yet, as an adult, you’re hearing a different message from lifestyle bloggers and spiritual Sherpas. According to them, you are enough. You have what it takes to achieve everything, from fulfilling your responsibilities at home to acing it at work.
In the moment, this may comfort you. But eventually, something will contradict what you’re being told. Perhaps your toddler won’t sleep during nap time, or you miss an important deadline. Or maybe you find that you just can’t love that reflection in the mirror, no matter how hard you try. Then, feeling like a failure, you’ll convince yourself that the next practice or life change will be the one that finally works.
But here’s the catch: a problem can never be its own solution. If you feel insecure, you won’t find the cure to that inside you. You’ll need to look outside yourself for an antidote. That’s why striving for self-love leaves you feeling exhausted, hollow, and purposeless.
There is a place to find the peace you’re seeking, though: God’s love. Self-love can deplete you, but God’s love is eternal and steadfast. When you accept that God will love you despite your shortcomings, you no longer need to love yourself obsessively. With God as your source of sufficiency and purpose, you no longer need to worship your imperfect self.
You’re Not Enough (And That’s Okay) (2020) explores why self-love culture doesn’t bring us the happiness, peace, and fulfillment it promises. Rather than continuously battling our feelings of insufficiency, author Allie Beth Stuckey suggests we accept them and embrace another source of love – God.
Self-love is unreliable, conditional, and limited. Chasing after it always brings us to a dead end.
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Blink 3 von 12 - Eine kurze Geschichte der Menschheit
von Yuval Noah Harari
