Name: Unlearn
Rating: 4.2 (385 reviews)
Author: Humble the Poet

What’s in it for me? The truth will set you free

We often say that children are like sponges – absorbing everything they encounter and easy to impress upon. But few mention what happens to that sponginess as we grow older.

At some point between child and adult, we start to organize ourselves around the most compelling beliefs and assumptions we’ve soaked up. Although originally fluid, these select scripts slowly solidify.

Unfortunately, many of us end up assimilating beliefs and assumptions that just aren’t true. If we’ve received enough evidence for them – whether from family, friends, education, or wider society – we’ll simply assume they’re accurate. Over time, these faulty frameworks can hold us back from ever feeling fulfilled or realizing our true potential.

Before Kanwer Singh became Humble the Poet, he worked at an elementary school as a teacher. While he’s now traded his audience of restless six-year-olds for a loyal international fanbase, he’s remained committed to a life of learning. But what he’s come to discover is that being a lifelong learner sometimes requires unlearning first. Unlearning some of the incorrect beliefs and assumptions we’ve become attached to, all in an effort to make space for the true nature of things.

In this Blink, we’ll explore the truths Humble the Poet has learned about happiness, love, success, and truth itself. As you’ll discover, truth can be a harsh teacher in the school of life. But by studying Humble the Poet’s notes, we can gain a head start on some of life’s most important lessons.

Truths about happiness

For a species obsessed with obtaining happiness, we seem to make it awfully complicated.

For starters, it’s common to subscribe to the idea that happiness is some elusive state, only made possible when a vast constellation of circumstances comes into alignment. Let’s be clear, unhappiness is simply our response to seeing that the vision in front of us doesn’t match the vision in our heads. That’s all there is to it. Unhappiness is just the gap between our expectations and our reality.

So happiness isn’t some rare external phenomenon. It’s infinitely more straightforward than that. Happiness is our response to being in the moment – present with what is.

Now, you may think, That’s all well and good when life is smooth sailing, but what about when life gets hard?

The truth is, we have very little control over what happens to us. That’s why it’s so important to take control of how we interpret these circumstances. If we buy into the belief that happiness is a life free from obstacles, we’ll never be happy – even when life is smooth sailing.

Life is more accurately thought of as a string of obstacles, one after the other. Some obstacles are objectively formidable – war breaking out in your homeland, for instance – while others are just annoying – coffee spilling on your laptop, for example. If we postpone our happiness until the day when obstacles become obsolete, we’ll be six feet under before we know it.

Tied to this is the prevalent assumption that we must get more to be happy. This is true to an extent, but after our basic needs are met – think food, water, and shelter – it becomes a harmful stance to take.

The pursuit of more is a game you’ll never win. There’ll always be another zero to add to your income, another exclusive experience to have, or another gadget to add to your collection.

In reality, happiness has nothing to do with getting more – again, assuming the essentials for survival – and everything to do with needing less. Actively acknowledge everything you already have, everything you already get to experience, and you’ll find happiness will bubble up to the surface like a deep spring. You’ll come into the present moment. The gap between your expectations and reality will narrow.

Life isn’t a fairytale, but you can rewrite some of those unhelpful internal narratives. While this means shedding the idea of one day arriving at a utopia where you have it all, in the end, it will actually inch you closer to the very thing you’re looking for: happiness itself.

Truths about love

A close second on the list of things we tend to make unnecessarily complicated is our relationships – especially our romantic ones.

In a similar way to happiness, society has painted romantic relationships with a palette of Disney pastels, all knights in shining armor and happily ever afters. While these images make for compelling kids’ films, they do little to help you in the real world. In truth, pursuing or passively waiting for “the one” does more to shoot yourself in the foot than see you swept off your feet.

Truths about success

As Humble the Poet started gaining traction, he noted something we often hear yet don’t believe: happiness doesn’t directly correlate with success. While his reputation and fanbase swelled, his sense of contentment and ease didn’t.

The importance of attaining success is a belief so pervasive that it’s hard to appreciate the influence it has on us. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be outstanding, but you’ll save yourself immense disillusionment and frustration if you take on the pursuit with your eyes wide open.

Truths about truth

So far, we’ve looked at some of the truths Humble the Poet has uncovered about happiness, love, and success. The last collection of truths we’ll explore is about truth itself. Don’t worry, this won’t be quite as meta as it sounds.

Objectively, we’d probably all agree that truth is a desirable possession. Yet, in our daily lives, we often act just the opposite, fighting to continue floating away with bubbles of fantasy rather than have them popped by the piercing pin of truth.

Worum geht es in Unlearn?

Unlearn (2014) is a collection of 101 short essays on how to live a better life. These succinct yet profound essays prompt you to challenge your own beliefs as well as the commonly held assumptions of wider society. The truths revealed about happiness, love, success, and truth itself aren’t always easy to hear, but they’re crucial insights into the nature of empowerment and freedom.