The View from Ninety summary

Years ago, Handy heard a BBC interview with an Italian journalist. The Italian government had just collapsed for the third time in two weeks. “This is very important for your country,” the presenter said. The journalist replied: “Yes, it is very serious. But it is not important.”

Every Italian understands the distinction. National politics? Serious. What you discuss at dinner? Important. Italians organize life around three things – family, friends, and food. Get those right and life continues, whatever happens in Rome. Bills can wait until next week. Sunday lunch with family can’t. Handy notes that “life has to be lived, not just paid for.”

Handy was sitting in his plantation-style house in Malaysia, playing bridge with army friends, when a realization struck: this wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life. He was the local Shell manager, which mostly meant socializing with plantation heads and government officials. Bridge. Endless drinks. Pleasant enough, but empty.

He realized he needed to distinguish between two types of freedom. Freedom FROM something – escaping what you dislike – and freedom TO something – creating what you want. Most people chase freedom from their current situation without defining freedom to pursue a purpose. That leaves you drifting. Handy left Shell to pursue freedom to write and teach. The distinction matters.

One February morning, Handy’s family suggested a walk on the beach. He refused, adding that they were falling into a trap of dichotomy. They asked what that meant. A dichotomy presents two alternatives when many options exist. Brexit: in or out. Referenda: yes or no. Beach or not beach. Politicians love dichotomies because they simplify choices and steer voters toward preferred options. But dichotomies stifle imagination by excluding other possibilities. When you encounter one, add some “buts.” No to the freezing North Sea beach, but yes to a favorite restaurant. Or yes to the beach, but wait for warmer weather. The family ended up watching rugby by the fire. Dichotomies oversimplify and restrict creativity.

Related to this: distinguish personality from character. Personality is the mask you put on for the world. You can shape it. Character reveals itself over time through your reactions to events and situations. Personality might get you hired. Character determines whether you succeed long-term. Focus on building character, not just managing your image.

On the weekend of Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee, Handy’s daughter suggested they celebrate. He asked what they’d be celebrating. She pointed out Handy was in his ninetieth year, still alive, still writing and giving lectures. That was remarkable. His granddaughter agreed. So they planted three trees and filled the fridge with champagne. Getting old, Handy discovered, brings unexpected freedom. You’re no longer driven by ambition or social pressure. You can say what you think. You’ve earned the right to be cantankerous.

His relationship with God evolved, too. When Handy was a child, God was like a stern headmaster – kindly but strict. Follow the rules and all would be well. But those rules didn’t seem to work. When Handy stumbled and said, “God help me,” nothing happened. So he wrote God a letter explaining his disappointment. He concluded that God isn’t a problem-solver or rule-maker. God is something else – perhaps a companion on walks in the woods, where each leaf is perfect yet different. Part of the natural order of things.