Women Who Love Too Much summary

What kind of man becomes the object of such lavish attention, commitment and obsession? You might assume he would be handsome, smart or otherwise attractive in some way. But the men who are loved too much are often none of these things. Instead, they usually share just one seemingly unremarkable trait: they are all emotionally unavailable.

Women who love too much are typically attracted to men who are emotionally cold, distant and unavailable for a meaningful relationship.

Perhaps all too predictably, there is one particular tactic that women who love too much use to try and win men’s love: sex. Unfortunately, trying to exchange love for sex usually leads to rejection.

Meet Trudi, a woman who loves too much. Like many of the women with whom the author works, Trudi spent her childhood trying to please her workaholic father, a man who rarely tore himself away from work long enough to eat dinner with his family. As a young woman, Trudi spent much of her time yearning after men who were just as unavailable as her father. First, there was her high-school boyfriend, the football fanatic who showed much more devotion to his sport than to her. After him came the married father of three children, who made time to see her only a few hours a week.

When things get out of hand, women who love too much become relationship junkies addicted to men and hooked on emotional pain. But for some of these women, their addictions run far deeper than bad relationships.

In an effort to numb their deepest childhood issues, some women also develop addictions to other substances such as drugs, alcohol or even sugary foods. These dependencies, particularly those involving food, are developed as a coping mechanism to distract themselves, escape from reality and numb that huge sense of emptiness deep inside.

With its negative implications for women’s mental health and wellbeing, loving too much is like a disease that can quickly take over your life. So now we turn our attention to the most pressing question of all. How can you recover from this affliction and let go of your obsessions?

During her time as a therapist, the author has noticed that all the women who successfully recovered had a few things in common.

So how will you know if you’ve recovered from the disease of loving too much? Let’s consider what sort of changes we can expect to see in a woman who has come out the other side of both her obsessions and her unresolved childhood issues.

After a full recovery, you will be endowed with a robust sense of self-worth. For the first time in your life, you will be able to accept the person whom you truly are.