The Willpower Instinct summary

These days, distractions are everywhere: there are links to click, series to watch, parties to go to. I’ll just check my email one last time, we say to ourselves.

But you’re running a larger risk that you think.

What does a saber-toothed tiger have in common with a chocolate cookie? Each of them can interfere with your goal of a long and healthy life.

That’s why evolution has given us the instincts to fight both the saber-toothed tiger and the temptation of a chocolate cookie.

Ever helped a friend move? At the end of the day your muscles are so tired you couldn’t carry anything more even if you wanted to. You might say to yourself, "I should be hitting the gym more often, I would be less tired". For your willpower, it’s just the same: after flexing your willpower muscle too much you become exhausted and can’t control yourself anymore. And if you hit the willpower gym, you could improve the strength of your willpower muscle.

So why does overusing your willpower cause you to run out of it?

Hardly a week passes without news about the moral failures of upstanding citizens – politicians, athletes or religious leaders who have done something wrong. Why do these supposedly virtuous people make such large mistakes?

Actually, thinking that you are “virtuous” lowers your self-awareness and discipline.

Why do we often feel bad and guilty after satisfying our immediate desires, like buying a new sweater we don’t need, or spending a lazy evening in front of the TV? And why do we do it again and again, despite knowing better?

Because your brain’s reward system is not always your friend – and sometimes it leads you in the wrong direction.

Stress is a common source of unhappiness. It can be caused by professional or personal worries, but also by external events, like bad news in the media.

Stress is one of the biggest threats to your willpower because it induces dreaded cravings.

Do you ever overcommit yourself to responsibilities and later find yourself overwhelmed?

Do you sometimes regret your past choices when confronted with their actual costs?

Here’s a challenge: for the next five minutes don't think about white bears. Can you do it? Most people fail in this task. Even though we never usually think about white bears, if you actively try to not think about them, it becomes almost impossible to stop.        

The same is true for your cravings: though suppression might seem to work at first, it actually makes them worse.

Have you ever noticed that you behave and think differently depending on who you're with? In fact, who we interact with influences our beliefs, goals and actions to a remarkable degree. And even characteristics like a strong or weak willpower can be "picked up" from our social context.

For example, studies showed that if we observe other people acting impulsively, we are more likely to be impulsive ourselves and neglect our long-term goals for a pleasurable moment. What's more, the more we like the person observed, the stronger this effect is, and the more willpower we lose.

The key message in this book:                                                                       

By learning how to concentrate on our long-term goals, maintain our willpower supply and train our willpower muscle, we can gain greater control over our bad habits – and live more fulfilling lives.