The Happy Kid Handbook summary

When it comes to temperament, nothing’s black or white – we’ve all got a mixture of both extroverted and introverted traits. Still, some children lean strongly toward introversion. Perhaps they love to disappear into their daydreams or tend to retreat to their bedrooms to reenergize alone. Raising introverted children comes with challenges, but keeping two strategies in mind will help.

First, it’s vital that you help your child feel comfortable sharing their feelings. Introverts naturally process their feelings internally, which in itself is fine. But it can cause problems as they fail to ask for help when they really need it. They may also keep quiet about something they’re unhappy about, bottling it up until they can’t cope anymore. This inevitably leads to an emotional outburst which is as confusing for you as it is for them.

If you’ve got a child who’s largely extroverted, watch out! These kids are boisterous, impulsive and born to be wild. Little extroverts can be a handful, especially if you’re more of a quiet type yourself. Learn to help your extroverted kid balance the interaction and movement with letting off steam and learning to relax.

Talking and sharing (a lot!) is vital for an extroverted child. They process their emotions externally, and will typically cope with challenging feelings by sharing them with you. Talking things out is essential for them in other ways too. You might find that your extroverted child is able to solve homework problems best when talking them through out loud with you, rather than mulling them over alone in their room.

Remember how fun it was to play as a kid? Most parents don’t. That’s why they tend to see play as a waste of time that distracts kids from homework and other important tasks. But nothing could be further from the truth. Play is central to a healthy childhood.

Through fun and games, children learn to relate to each other, share and cooperate. When adults meet for the first time, they go through the motions of introducing themselves, shaking hands and sharing what they do for a living. When kids meet each other, they make contact by joining one another’s games.

All loving parents just want their kids to be happy. But kids needn’t be happy all the time. For one thing, this is nearly impossible! And on top of this, negative emotions are a necessary experience that helps children grow into adults.

Despite this, many parents attempt to reject their children’s unhappiness. They categorize emotions into “good” and “bad,” signalling to many kids that feeling fear, anger, jealousy and sadness is wrong. Parents often feel bewildered and irritated by a child’s strong negative reactions. For instance, in the mall one Easter, the author witnessed several toddlers sobbing in fright after seeing someone in a bunny costume. Visibly annoyed, the parents didn’t comfort them and instead told their kids to stop making such a fuss.

Humans are, in some ways, instinctively empathetic. That’s why babies tend to cry if they hear another baby crying nearby! But even though humans demonstrate the ability to empathize from a very young age, they still have a lot of emotional development to do throughout their lives. The ability to empathize with someone’s situation and perspective is more a skill than an instinct, and parents are there to help children learn it.

Begin by giving kids an empathetic role model. If you show a lack of empathy toward your kid, you can hardly expect them to become empathetic individuals of their own accord. Show your kids empathy and it won’t take them long to realize that they can do the same. Respect their feelings, listen to them without interrupting and show children that you understand and care.

These days, we’re all stressed out. Unfortunately, this includes our kids. Between competitive classrooms and jam-packed schedules, it’s no wonder children constantly feel the need to perform. Help your kids recharge and recover by learning about how they deal with stress.

First, we need to remember that some things can be stressful for our kids without us realizing. For example, you might be used to watching the news, but your kid isn’t. Watching footage of natural disasters, famines and wars can be downright terrifying for your kid. Don’t let your kid watch the news with you and you’ll cut the extra stress out of her life.