Love People, Use Things summary

For a while, Joshua Fields Millburn had the perfect life. At least, that’s how it seemed. He had a cushy six-figure job, lived in a palatial suburban home, and was married to Keri, his high school sweetheart.

Yet, at the time, if he were to rate his life on a scale of one to ten, it would be a six. Sure, life was comfortable – but something was missing. One problem was his relationship. While he loved Keri, they were fundamentally different people. With each passing year, they grew more and more distant. 

Rob Bell and Sam Harris are about as different as two people can be. Bell is deeply spiritual; he’s a devout Christian and former pastor. Meanwhile, Harris is an ardent, outspoken atheist and a technically minded neuroscientist.

But, despite their differences, these two thinkers agree on one important thing. Both men advocate the transformative power of being present. That is, they think the key to happiness lies in mindfulness – the art of appreciating life as it is, moment to moment.

Imagine this. You’re relaxing one evening with a few glasses of wine. As you sip your chardonnay, your fingers mindlessly scroll through social media. Suddenly, an ad appears. Feeling a bit buzzed, you think, Sure, why not? and hit “Buy.”

Sound familiar? Maybe. A recent study shows that an astounding 79 percent of adults have engaged in some form of drunk shopping in the past year. In fact, inebriated customers drop an estimated $45 billion on goods annually.

Millburn’s twenties were certainly roaring. After securing a sweet corporate job, he went on a nonstop buying spree. At 23, he bought a Lexus. At 24, he bought another one. Then, at 25, still unsatisfied, he bought a brand new Land Rover. 

Yes, Millburn’s garage was very impressive. But his finances were a different story. While he was pulling in plenty of money, it was going out just as fast. In fact, all those slick cars were bought on credit – his wallet had no fewer than 14 maxed out cards.

Picture a creative person – who comes to mind? Is it Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel’s marvelous ceiling? Jimi Hendrix performing musical acrobatics on the guitar? Maybe it’s F. Scott Fitzgerald tapping out perfect sentences on his typewriter?

There’s no question that these are all creative people. But creativity isn’t the exclusive realm of fine artists. A carpenter cobbling a table, a dietician designing a healthy meal plan, or a corporate account manager making a punchy Powerpoint – these are all also creative people and pursuits.

First dates can be nerve-racking – especially first dates where you end up naked within the first five minutes. But for Millburn and his now wife, Rebecca, it was the best way to start a new relationship. 

You see, for their first date the pair had arranged a couples massage. The treatment began with the massage therapist asking both participants to strip down to whatever level made them comfortable. After a brief, awkward pause, they went for it. Rebecca shed all but her underwear, while Millburn opted for fully nude.