The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck summary

The best examples of success through struggle can be found in the art world. After all, we tend to imagine the quintessential artist as poverty-stricken and underappreciated – someone who refuses to give in until her genius is recognized.

And this stereotype is actually more accurate than you’d imagine.

In the previous blink, we saw that measuring your worth by comparing yourself to others will only lead to disappointment. And this is just one of many shitty values that can derail you on your path to happiness.

Consider pleasure, for instance. Many people choose to make pleasure their priority in life. And yet chasing pleasure above everything else isn’t healthy; in fact, it’s the central value of drug addicts, adulterers and gluttons. Research has shown that those who regard pleasure as the greatest good are likely to be anxious and depressed.

Every year, thousands of amateur runners take part in marathons. Many of them do so to raise money for good causes. Even though a great many struggle to finish, most marathon runners are proud of their achievement. Now imagine that, instead of volunteering to run a marathon, you were forced to take part. No matter how well you actually ran, chances are you’d detest the whole experience.

Feeling compelled to do something robs it of its joy.

Picture this: You’re a senior manager at a large, illustrious company. You like your job and the compensation; you have a nice car, sharp clothes and the respect of your colleagues. Most of all, you love being a senior manager. Being a senior manager is who you are.

Now, imagine that you have the chance to get right to the top. However, the opportunity isn’t without substantial risks. If you fail to pull it off perfectly, you’ll lose everything  – the job, the car, the respect and, most importantly, your identity.

Don’t you just hate those annoying people who always think they’re right? Those smug know-it-alls who, even when you tell them they’re in the wrong, simply won’t listen?

Thank heavens you’re not like that yourself! Well, unfortunately, you are.

Romeo and Juliet is perhaps the most famous love story in the world. And yet it’s hardly a happy one; it’s a rather chaotic story, involving murder, exile and blood feuds and it ends with both lovers committing suicide.

The tragic tale of those star-crossed lovers highlights the destructive power of romantic love. Studies have shown that passionate, romantic relationships have a stimulating effect on the brain similar to that of cocaine. That is, you experience an intense high and then you crash back down. Then, you search again for the high, though not necessarily with the same person – a recipe for pain and anguish.

You might not like to think about it, but you’re going to die one day. This uncomfortable fact, and how we deal with it, has an awful lot to do with how we live our lives.

To fully understand just how much control death has over our lives, we can look to the work of Ernest Becker. Becker was a doctor of anthropology and a bit of a maverick. Although his unconventional approach and early death limited his academic career, he did write an influential book about dying, The Denial of Death.