Read People Like a Book summary

Every action stems from a hidden drive, shaping each decision we make. By understanding human motivation, you can gain deeper insight into why people do what they do and how their actions affect your psyche and decisions. 

Many psychological concepts can guide you through the maze of human motivation, but these three stand out: the shadow self, the inner child, and Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs.

Let’s talk about the shadow first. According to analytical psychology master Carl Jung, the shadow comprises the parts of yourself that you hide away from yourself and others. Picture a straight-A student who, after years of being the model child to his parents, suddenly rebels and parties beyond curfew. That’s him expressing his shadow, which stored his deep desire to be free and do as he pleases for years. By acknowledging that the shadow exists for everyone, including you, you’ll be more prepared to understand why others do what they do and plan the steps to communicate effectively with them.

Speaking of effective communication, it’s essential to know when you’re dealing with someone’s shadow or their inner child. While the two can feel similar, they are different concepts. The inner child echoes our childhood experiences and how these events have molded our responses to the world as adults. Witnessed a colleague's inexplicable tears after minor criticism? It might be an old wound from their earliest days of facing relentless mockery at school; your feedback was just the unexpected trigger. Faced unexpected fury from a friend recently? He may be channeling anger at past traumatic events. When you can spot the inner child acting out, it’s easier not to take people’s reactions personally and know when to extend a helping hand or a comforting hug.

Next up is Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Think of it as a mountain climb. At the base camp, we address basic physiological needs like food and shelter. As people ascend, they start tackling mental goals like belonging and self-esteem. At the summit is self-actualization; when people are at this level, they will be all about realizing their fullest potential, akin to a mountaineer reaching a peak. Recognizing which level someone is at helps you interact with them accordingly. For instance, a counselor might vary her support based on whether someone needs basic sustenance or is searching for a higher purpose.

So by connecting all the dots – the shadow’s secrecy, the inner child's whispered concerns, and the level of one’s individual needs – you can better see what motivates other people’s behavior in any given situation, know your place in it, and act accordingly.

Speaking of seeing it, did you know that the face and body are constantly giving out information? Find out how, next.