Rethinking Narcissism summary

As humans, we’re neither purely good nor purely evil. We’re a mix of strengths and weaknesses, so it helps to avoid black-and-white thinking when assessing a person’s character. Instead, imagining a spectrum along which different personality traits lie gives a far more accurate understanding of individuals.

Using a spectrum is useful when thinking about narcissism, too. At one end, we have abstinence – a zero on the spectrum – and, at the other end, there’s addiction, a ten on the spectrum.

If you worry that you’re a little close to one of the extremes on the narcissism spectrum, don’t panic! Narcissism fluctuates – that is, we move up and down the spectrum depending on the situations we’re confronted with.

Just think of what it's like to be a teenager. Adolescence is a stage of life when people leave the safety of their parents and seek out their own identity. Narcissism is often necessary; it’s what gives young adults the self-esteem they need to make it out of the nest and into the world.

Our genes don’t just determine our physical features and medical predisposition. At birth, we’re already biologically programmed with behavioral tendencies, including narcissism! Some of us may have an innate tendency to be cautious and withdrawn, while others seem to be reckless and loud from an early age. Narcissism, or a lack thereof, can simply be part of our nature.

But nature isn’t the only contributing factor. Nurture – that is, how our parents raised us – has a powerful influence on our ability to love ourselves.

There might be someone in your life right now who’s behaving in ways you just can’t fathom. Well, perhaps narcissism is behind it. A complicated character trait, narcissism can be difficult to pin down. But there are a few indicators that can help you spot a narcissist.

Ever given someone some feedback and been rewarded with a slew of caustic remarks about your many shortcomings? You may have encountered a narcissist’s emotion phobia. Narcissists lack true self-confidence and are very sensitive to criticism. Unfortunately, the only way for them to feel better about themselves is to make other people feel worse.

If you’re about to give up on your narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend, take a step back. Not all hope is lost! Narcissism is often quite easy to combat. It just takes a little vulnerability on your part.

Studies conducted by psychologists from the University of Surrey and the University of Southampton showed narcissists a video where a woman describes her frightening experiences with domestic abuse. The heart rates of the narcissistic participants rose considerably, a sure sign of empathetic feelings.