Build the Life You Want summary

For many people, family is an important part of life. And having a happy family sits high on the priority list. But what does “happy family” actually mean? Does it mean a perfectly harmonious partnership, a completely tension-free household, kids who are thriving and untouched by worries?

Well, the only place families like these exist is on TV. But despite this, family does bring most people a strong sense of purpose – one of the key ingredients of happiness. That’s why it’s the first pillar in building a happier life.

According to research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies in 2007, the quality of friendships impacts overall happiness. That’s because friendship brings support and light to life’s bleakest seasons, making it the second pillar of a happier life.

But quality friendships are becoming more and more rare. A survey conducted in 2021 found that the number of Americans who only had one or two close friends had doubled since 1990. And of course, the COVID-19 pandemic didn’t help. Now, people often spend more time communicating via technology than they do in person. Added to this are the demands of work and family life, which leave limited time and energy to nurture deep friendships.

You’ve probably heard the adage that if you find a job you love, you won’t work a day in your life. Well, that may be pushing it a little. Every job has aspects that are difficult or tedious. But countless studies show that having a job you like makes you happier, which is why it’s the third pillar of happiness. If your work is meaningful and engaging, your labors feel satisfying. And remember – satisfaction is one of the elements of happiness.

Interestingly, there seems to be no hard and fast rule about what makes a particular job satisfying. A 2018 survey found no correlation between the jobs deemed happiest and unhappiest. That’s because we’re all individuals with unique lives and needs. So, the first step to finding a job that makes you happier is understanding who you are.

It’s easy to get caught up in your own life: the needs of your family, the demands of work, the distractions of social media, what you’re going to eat for lunch, and so on. This is natural – you are, after all, the protagonist of your own life story. But it can make you lose perspective.

Embracing a more spiritual path reconnects you with a broader context. And this, in turn, makes you happier. For instance, a metaphysical path will stop you from mindlessly scrolling social media before bed, so you can look out the window and marvel at the stars instead, reminding you of the wonder of your own existence. This makes you happier, which is why spirituality is the fourth pillar of a happy life.