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Zusammenfassung von The Four Noble Truths of Love

Name: The Four Noble Truths of Love
Rating: 4.6 (465 reviews)
Author: Susan Piver

Susan Piver

Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships

4.6 (465 Bewertungen)

23 Min.

Themen

Spirituality Love Sex Eastern Philosophy

Inhaltsübersicht

The Four Noble Truths of Love
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What’s in it for me? Enrich your love life, and get closer to the people you care about.

Are we destined to make the same relationship mistakes for eternity?

For all of the progress we’ve made as a society, it appears that we’ve hardly matured when it comes to love. We seem to suffer from jealousy, longing, affairs, and heartbreak more than ever. Almost half of all marriages in the US end in divorce. What’s going on? Why do we struggle to make relationships work?

This is one area where we moderns can learn a thing or two from our predecessors! These blinks look to ancient Buddhist philosophy to shed some light on our love problems.

Now, you’re probably thinking: Buddhism, really? What can ancient monks tell us about modern love? Didn’t they take vows of celibacy and turn their backs on the material world?

They may be thousands of years old, but Buddhist reflections on life and love are surprisingly applicable to modern romance. They’ve certainly saved the author’s relationship once or twice, and they can benefit your relationship too.

Designed to challenge your outlook on sex, dating, and romance, these blinks aim to liberate you from the bad habits and false expectations that have been preventing your relationships from flourishing. They also lay out some mindfulness practices that you can use to connect with your partner, embrace your relationship, and achieve greater happiness and contentment in your love life.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

how we sabotage good relationships with impossible expectations;
what it truly means to be in love; and
how couples can adapt meditation to a practice of love.

The Four Noble Truths are the foundation of Buddhist philosophy.

The Four Noble Truths were taught by the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago. They were his first teachings after achieving enlightenment, and they form the basis of the Buddhist philosophy.

Siddhartha Gautama – the Buddha’s given name – was born a prince. His upbringing was so sheltered that he didn’t lay eyes on people who were elderly, sick, or dying until he was a grown man.

Dismayed by these revelatory experiences, he renounced his life of luxury in the hope of finding the meaning of existence and an end to suffering. After several years of fasting, begging, and other forms of chastity, Gautama finally resolved to sit beneath a Bodhi tree until the truth revealed itself to him. It’s said he sat beneath that tree for 49 days before achieving enlightenment, at which point he returned to share what he’d learned – the four truths about existence.

The key message here is: The Four Noble Truths are the foundation of Buddhist philosophy.

The First Noble Truth is: Life is suffering. That’s not to say that everything’s bad. Suffering here refers to a base-level discomfort that we can’t ever quite get rid of. This discomfort stems from the fact that everything in life is transient. We try to hold onto things – good looks, possessions, relationships – but everything ultimately passes through our fingers. As a result, we suffer a great deal of anxiety about what awaits us in the future, and we sorrow for what we’ve left behind in the past.

However, it’s not transience per se that causes suffering. This is where the Second Noble Truth comes in: The cause of suffering is attachment. In other words, we suffer because we can’t bear to let go of the things we’ve become attached to.

Now that we know the cause of suffering, we arrive at the Third Noble Truth: It’s possible to end suffering. In order to do that, we have to accept reality for what it is. Knowing that everything in life comes and goes, we must – as far as possible – relinquish our attachments to things.

But how exactly do we achieve this? Well, the Fourth Noble Truth says that there is a path for transcending suffering. This path is known in Buddhism as the Noble Eightfold Path. It offers the various components of the Buddhist’s moral life; if followed conscientiously, these will lead to enlightenment.

So, that’s it – the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. These are the basis for the Noble Truths of Love, which, as we’ll see, follow this same structure.

Problems are an integral part of relationships.

Many of us behave as though the turbulence we experience in our relationships is only temporary. We imagine that our troubles are a result of some little problem – if we manage to solve it, it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.

We’re all prone to this kind of “if only” thinking. If only we amassed some savings, then maybe we’d stop fighting about the finances. If only we moved to the city, then maybe we wouldn’t feel so restless. If only we lived closer together, if only we got couples counseling, if only we had children, if only…

We harm relationships when we hold them to unrealistic standards.

This might be obvious, but you shouldn’t be taking relationship advice from movies. When movies tackle the subject of love, they tend to focus on its rudimentary stage. Once the protagonist falls in love, the screen fades to black, and it’s implied they live happily ever after.

Perhaps that’s why we’ve confused relationships with love affairs. As a society, we’ve equated love with the passion and euphoria that comes with the initial blaze of infatuation.

Attachment is the ultimate cause of dissatisfaction in relationships.

We’ve been talking a lot about expectations. Buddhists have another word for this: attachment.

Attachment is the trap we fall into time and time again. For example, we get attached to feelings like euphoria and excitement. We get attached to experiences, especially the sexual kind. And, as we’ve seen already, we get attached to stages in the cycle. It’s why people expend so much energy trying to prolong the infatuation stage of relationships – and why they attempt to resurrect it when it’s gone.

True love is embracing the instability of a relationship together.

Often, when we say we’re looking for love, what we’re actually after is a protective cocoon to shelter us from the struggles we face in life. We want someone who will lick our wounds, fulfill our desires, and bring us lasting contentment.

But this isn’t love, this is magical thinking.

Practicing direct communication can deepen a couple’s intimacy.

It’s one thing to learn the Noble Truths of Love but another to actually integrate them into your love life – especially in the face of real relationship turmoil. As Mike Tyson once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to put these insights into practice and make this ride we call “love” a little more comfortable. This is the crux of the Fourth Noble Truth of Love, which says there’s a path for transcending relationship suffering.

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Worum geht es in The Four Noble Truths of Love?

The Four Noble Truths of Love (2018) brings ancient Buddhist wisdom out of the monastery and into the bedroom. By adapting the timeless insights taught by the Buddha 2,500 years ago to the nature of love, it shines a light through the murky mess of modern romance.

Bestes Zitat aus The Four Noble Truths of Love

The bad news is, youre falling through the air without a parachute. The good news is, theres no ground.

—Susan Piver

Wer The Four Noble Truths of Love lesen sollte

Long-term couples who want to rejuvenate their love life
Singles who want to improve their dating experiences
Anyone who wants to experience a deeper, more mature love

Über den Autor

Susan Piver is a long-time Buddhist practitioner and author known for translating ancient Buddhist ideas for a modern audience. She’s written nine books including the award-winning How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, and Start Here Now: An Open-Hearted Guide to the Path and Practice of Meditation. Piver launched the Open Heart Project in 2011, which has since become the world’s largest online mindfulness community.

Kategorien mit The Four Noble Truths of Love

Mindfulness & Happiness Sex & Relationships

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