Parenting Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Parenting

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Zusammenfassung von Parenting

Name: Parenting
Rating: 4.5 (48 reviews)
Author: Andy & Sandra Stanley

Andy & Sandra Stanley

Getting It Right

4.5 (48 Bewertungen)

19 Min.

Themen

Confidence Family Life Education & Upbringing

Inhaltsübersicht

Parenting
in 7 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 7

What’s in it for me? Adjust your goals and raise your kids with confidence.

Every parent knows the fear. As their child grows and develops in their own unique and chaotic way, the overwhelmed, overinformed, and sleep-deprived parents desperately try to decide which behaviors to permit, what to punish, and what to encourage. And naturally, the usual doubts inevitably creep in along the way.

From the surreal moment that the hospital lets you go home with an actual breathing human to keep alive and one day release into society, there’s one question that you’ll ask yourself, often several times a day:

Am I doing it right?

The mistakes seem as easy to make as they are hard to notice. And knowing the responsibility you have to this little person's future and the world you’re bringing them into,the thought of doing it wrong can be terrifying.

But what exactly is this it that you don’t want to get wrong? What’s the end goal that you’re working toward? Too many parents get so caught up in the day-to-day of raising a child, that they don’t stop to think about what their actual end goal is. Or even worse, each parent might find themselves working towards different goals, without even knowing it.

In this Blink to Parenting by Andy and Sandra Stanley, you’ll learn about a pretty good it to be working toward and some great guidelines and ideas to make sure that you’re doing it right. Whether you’re the parent of a screaming colicky newborn or a moody indolent teenager, it’s never too late to adapt your parenting habits and ensure a brighter future for everyone involved.

Aim to raise kids who want to be with you, even when they don’t have to be.

Let’s start by asking a simple question: At the end of the day, when all this is over and the kids have left the nest, what would you consider a parenting win?

Safe and healthy? Probably. Rich and successful? Always nice. Did they graduate college? Are they playing in the NFL? Dancing on Broadway? These are all great goals.

But they’re not enough.

It’s important early on to step back and take note of where you’re going. You don’t want to look back one day and realize that you’ve parented in the wrong direction. Or that the direction was decided for you – by circumstances, by culture, or by the impulses of your children and relatives.

As a parent, you should be leading with a clear purpose in mind. While there are many possible parenting goals, Andy and Sandra suggest that there’s one that stands above all the rest. One parenting goal that, if kept in mind, can have a great effect on the well-being of your children – and those around them. Including you.

And it’s this: you want to raise kids who like being with you and each other, even when they don’t have to be.

It’s all about parenting with the relationship in mind. If you focus on the relationship, it teaches your kids to be good at relationships, and this greatly improves their confidence and emotional well-being.

Think about it. Have you ever met someone whose problems come from a healthy relationship with their parents? It’s pretty unlikely.

But there’s one fundamental thing to keep in mind if you choose this method of relationship-focused parenting – the relationship that you have with your children isn’t the same as the relationship they have with you.

While this may seem obvious, it’s crucial to maintain a healthy dynamic. Your child is dependent. You are in charge. Both relationships are permanent but never forget that they’re two very different things.

In the next sections, you’ll find out how this relationship-focused parenting plays out during the different stages of your child's development.

The first years of parenting should be focused on obedience.

In a lot of ways, parenting is like a farmer growing their crops. There’s a time – let's call it a season – when you need to sow. You can’t do it all at once or whenever you want. You need to plan it. You need to fertilize it. You need to tend to it. And you need to wait.

If you’re patient and pay attention to the seasons, you’ll harvest a healthy crop when your kids grow up.

The second stage of parenting is for training.

What does an athlete do when they want to win a gold medal? They practice. And then they practice some more.

It’s the same for kids during the second season of parenting. If you want them to grow up to be champions, you’re going to have to spend years 5 to 12 focused on training. This season still requires the discipline of the earlier years, but now there’s more explanation behind it.

The later years of parenting are for coaching and friendship.

You’ve lived a rich life. You’ve traveled the world, learned amazing things, had valuable experiences. Who wouldn’t appreciate the life-changing advice and insights you’ve collected over the years?

Your 15-year-old son or daughter, that’s who.

Your schedule is one of the ways you can show love.

Life is generally pretty busy. There’s certainly no need to tell you that it’s busier with kids. The demands of work and other obligations are always going to be in conflict with the demands of being a parent. No matter how much you love your kids, if you’re not around for them to see it, that’s going to have an effect.

For kids, time is the currency of love. It’s not enough just to love them in your heart. You also need to love them in your calendar. And at the end of the day, there’s only one person who has true control over your calendar, and that’s you.

Choose your words carefully.

You’ve probably heard the saying: “Actions speak louder than words.” Even if this is true, don’t forget that words can be pretty loud too. And when a parent is speaking to a child, they can be deafening.

The words you choose – and don’t choose – play a huge role in how your child sees the world. And it’s through your words that you successfully influence your children. At a certain point, you can’t make your child do anything – you can only influence them with words.

Final Summary

All your parenting decisions should be made with the relationship in mind. As you navigate the different seasons of parenting – whether you’re disciplining, training, or coaching – make sure you plan your schedule to benefit your kids, and choose your words with care.

If you focus on strengthening and maintaining healthy relationships with your children, one day you’ll reap the benefits of grown-up children who want to be with you, even when they don’t have to be.

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Parenting (2023) presents essential parenting principles in a format that is easy to follow and implement. By drawing on practical knowledge and experience, the authors illustrate the goals and steps required to raise a happy and healthy kid – whether you’re dealing with the sleepless frustration of a newborn or the emotional rollercoaster of a moody teenager.

Wer Parenting lesen sollte

Overwhelmed new parents who want a bit of direction in their chaotic lives
Frustrated moms and dads looking for a fresh perspective on classic problems
Expecting couples who want to have a solid foundation from the very start

Über den Autor

Andy Stanley is an author, pastor, and founder of North Point Ministries, a collection of 180 churches around the world. He lives in Atlanta with his wife, Sally, and has three grown children.

Sally Stanley has a master of arts from Dallas Theological Seminary and is involved in the foster care initiative at North Point Ministries. Along with her husband Andy, she’s been a foster parent since 2010.

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