The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook summary

Where does BPD come from? Research shows it likely stems from a combination of genetic, environmental, and neurological factors.  

For instance, studies show that 37 percent to 60 percent of BPD cases may have a hereditary component. However, a difficult childhood is very common among people diagnosed with BPD. Many grew up in family environments characterized by abuse, abandonment, and inconsistent affection.  

People with BPD often exhibit beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that offer short-term relief but generate long-term harm. 

Let’s consider another example. Growing up with an emotionally distant mother, Tony internalized that he’s not important enough to be loved. As an adult, he becomes very clingy with his girlfriends. He calls his girlfriend Mary multiple times a day and tells her continuously how much he loves her. At first, Mary feels forced to reciprocate every gesture. Tony feels recognized and loved. But after a while, Mary starts feeling suffocated and overwhelmed. Eventually, she breaks up with Tony. He feels more worthless and abandoned than ever. 

People with BPD often have deep-seated emotional triggers rooted in childhood experiences. These can get pressed like buttons, prompting impulsive reactions that make situations worse. Learning to control your emotional buttons is essential. 

In the last part, you learned how to recognize your triggers as well as the unhealthy beliefs, behaviors, and patterns connected to them. Now we’ll learn some strategies you can use to manage your buttons. Keep in mind that it’s best to practice these strategies before a triggering situation arises. To do this, simply visualize one of your triggers, and practice a new, healthy response. 

Many people with BPD harbor deeply ingrained dysfunctional beliefs that fuel their disorder. Identifying and disputing these beliefs can be challenging, but truly transformational. 

Dysfunctional beliefs distort perception in unhealthy ways. Let’s look at another example. Betty, who works as a nurse, believes she must be perfect for others to like her. At her new job, one of the nurses kindly offered her help after Betty made a mistake. But Betty's dysfunctional belief twisted the nurse’s kind offer into criticism, prompting her to lash out angrily. 

Relationships affect well-being profoundly, but for people with BPD, they can be challenging. Assessing the positive and negative factors in your relationships can help you rebuild them in a healthy way.

Consider the people close to you – your family and partner, your friends and colleagues, even occasional contacts. For each relationship, write down the positive elements, such as mutual trust, compassion, and calm interactions. Now write down negative aspects, such as intense arguments, feelings of distrust, and not admitting to mistakes. 

You now have a group of tools to help you start taking control of your BPD. They will help you challenge your dysfunctional beliefs, behaviors, and patterns so that you can transform how you relate to yourself and the world. 

Take stock of your progress along the way. How are your new patterns improving your well-being and relationships?