Bliss More summary

The Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky once mused that if you try not to think of a polar bear, you’ll find yourself imagining one all the time. In the 1980s, Harvard psychologist Daniel Wegner turned this musing into an experiment. Subjects were instructed to think about polar bears and then to not think about them. In both phases, they were asked to ring a bell whenever one came to mind. When they were supposed to avoid thinking about the bears, the bells really started going off. 

Clearly, Dostoevsky was right – try to banish a thought and that’s all you’ll think about. So what does that say about meditation teachers and their well-meaning instructions to let go of distractions and focus on something soothing? Unfortunately, any meditation that asks you to focus actually requires more work, making really letting go all but impossible.

You might be worried that the settled mind is too far out of reach. But here’s the good news: you’ve already experienced it. Ever take an afternoon nap? Or have that cozy feeling when you’re reading before bed and your eyelids start to droop? That’s the settled mind. 

To help you get there easily during your meditation, you’ll need a mantra. There are many types of mantras – some sung, some whispered, and others chanted or simply just thought. They all have different effects, from aligning energy centers to increasing courage. Those used for meditation are what the author calls Settling Sounds. Over time, your Settling Sound will train your mind to quiet itself as it sinks down into that blissful settled state. 

When Light Watkins met his spiritual teacher, he was asked to donate a sum of money in exchange for the teaching that he was about to receive. The amount, he was told, should be equivalent to the value he placed on the teaching. Though Watkins had just $900 in his bank account at the time, he gave $400 to his teacher the next morning. 

Why? Well, there’s a long tradition of exchanges like this in India, where gurus propose them as a test of their disciples’ commitment. They do this because an exchange confirms your commitment, and that’s what the quality of your meditation practice hinges upon. Real commitment leads to greater consistency and, in turn, a stronger technique. In other words, the more committed you are to your meditation, the more likely it is that it will change your life. 

If you’ve read a magazine recently, you’ve probably seen some headlines about meditation. For instance, a couple of years ago, Psychology Today ran the headline “How Meditation Won the Super Bowl.” Is it really what helped the Seahawks beat the Broncos? Probably not. Yet clickbait headlines constantly put forward specious claims about meditation’s benefits – claims that, if you’ve tried meditation at all, definitely seem out of reach. 

So what does meditation actually do? Well, it doesn’t fix codependent relationships, cure chain smokers, reform sugar addicts, or dispel anger issues. But it does lead to greater states of relaxation which, in turn, pay great dividends in terms of calmness. By sticking to your daily practice, you’ll be able to keep your cool in a lot of stressful situations, from serious accidents to infuriating traffic jams. In social situations, you’ll probably be more forgiving, empathetic, and insightful. And at night, you’ll sleep easier and wake up happy to face the day. 

During a meditation, one of Watkins’s students, named Mona, began to smell cigarette smoke. She checked to see if it was coming in through the window, but no, it wasn’t; it was coming in through her mind. 

After talking to Watkins, Mona remembered that for about six months when she was younger, she had been a smoker. Back then, she was living in New York, stressed out by the hectic environment and dealing with the insecurities of being twenty-one. All those stressful emotions were now coming out during her meditation as her body gradually de-stressed. 

In 2004, a massive tsunami from the Indian Ocean killed over 150,000 people across twelve countries. Oddly, though, only a small number of animals were reported dead. Eyewitnesses recalled that before the tsunami, elephants were running to higher ground, flamingoes abandoned their nests, and dogs wouldn’t go outside. 

Many believe that animals can sense danger a mile away. While humans sometimes have this kind of intuition, too, they often attribute it to some outside force, like serendipity or divine intervention. Practiced meditators, however, report having such intuitions more often. Why? Well, these aren’t so much meditation-induced epiphanies as they are intuitive reactions. Yet they’re a direct expression of a byproduct of meditation: true mindfulness – that is, being so in the moment that you don’t even notice it.