The Power of Nunchi summary

How do you define a room? Well, it’s an enclosed space that’s surrounded by walls and a roof. It probably has a door, and maybe a window or two. But a room is much more than a physical space – it’s also a social space. 

When it comes to applying nunchi in daily life, the room is the key unit. In other words, the object of your observation shouldn’t be just one person – it should be the entire room and how everyone is interacting within it. 

If a Korean child is standing in line with her mother waiting for a buffet and she complains, “I’m hungry!” her mother is likely to respond, “Are you the only person in the world?”  

In Korea, this is a common parental retort to children who express impatience. It’s a chastisement that expresses the importance of collectivism, a value at the heart of Korean culture, and of nunchi. In collectivism, no man or woman is an island. Each person is part of a larger group and must act accordingly, just as bees act in concert to sustain their beehive.

It’s rush hour. You’re standing on a subway platform as the train pulls in. You quickly scan the train cars and notice that while almost all are crowded, one is completely empty. Something’s up; that car probably smells bad. Even though there are plenty of available seats in there, you skip it and hop into the next, more crowded car. 

In this situation, even though you’re surrounded by the hubbub and noise of rush hour, you engage in stilling – that is, you pay close attention to your environment and the people in it.  

Sherlock Holmes, the Victorian-era detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, is a master of first impressions. At his very first meeting with Dr. John Watson, who goes on to become his sleuthing partner, Holmes notices Watson’s tan and his haggard face, as well as the awkward way he holds his arm. Based on these physical details, he correctly guesses that Watson has recently served as an army doctor in Afghanistan. 

We can’t all be as clever as Sherlock Holmes, inferring such precise facts about other people from just a first impression. However, nunchi can help us hone our ability to read people we’ve just met and make better judgments about who they are. 

Say you’re a teenager with something really big to ask your parents. Maybe you want to get permission to sleep over at your best friend’s house or attend a concert with your friends. 

You’ll probably think very hard about when it would be best to ask for what you want. You might know that asking mom before her morning coffee – when she’s tired and irritable – is not the best time. Or that dad is more likely to say yes while he’s watching his favorite sitcom in the evening. 

You know that person in the office who’s climbed up the career ladder much farther than you think she should have? She may be competent, but she’s not exceptional, and yet she gets ahead. How? It’s not because she has some special connection to the boss. She gets ahead because she has really good nunchi; if you want to get ahead at work too, you need to watch and learn from her. 

That’s because the office is not a transparent environment. In fact, it’s the epicenter of indirect communication and doublespeak. It’s for this reason that nunchi is such a useful tool for navigating the office.  

If only you could shake a magic wand and get everything you want at work, from promotions to choice assignments. The trouble is, getting what you want largely depends on your ability to influence people both above and below you in the office hierarchy. And influencing people is not always an easy task. Thankfully, nunchi shows you the way. 

The best way to influence your boss using nunchi is to figure out what he needs and then present yourself as the solution. Let’s say you want a promotion, but you know that your company is going through rough financial times; just going into your boss’s office and asking isn’t likely to work.