Name: Welcome Home
Rating: 4.6 (502 reviews)
Author: Najwa Zebian

What’s in it for me? Find true happiness and self-worth by being at home within yourself.

If you sometimes feel lost, helpless, or broken, you’re not alone. What you need – what we all need – is a home. Not a house, a home: a place where you feel safe, seen, and loved.

Too often, we build our homes in other people; we rely on the validation, comfort, and approval of others. But this inevitably leaves us desperately holding on to love when we find it, and we feel abandoned if the other person leaves.

This Blink will teach you how to build a home within yourself. You’ll discover and furnish all the different rooms of the home – each with a specific purpose – through a unique set of tools that’ll help you be comfortable and satisfied with who you are and what you do.

So in your mind, stand in front of the house’s door. Take a deep breath, and step inside. No need to knock – after all, this is your home.

In this Blink, you’ll learn

to recognize the love that’s already around you;
how to separate your pain from the thing that hurt you; and
the difference between an emotion and a feeling.

Before you can be loved by others, you need to learn to love yourself.

Picture someone you love. It can be a friend, a partner, a family member – anyone you care for deeply. Now imagine them coming to you with a problem. Maybe they have a bad headache, or they’re stressed out at work. Or maybe they’re going through a tough breakup and need someone to talk to. What would you say to them?

Chances are, you’d do whatever you could to make them feel better. You’d sit them down and find a painkiller for their headache. You’d ask them about their day at work. You’d tell them that it’s going to be alright. You’d do these things because you love them.

Now imagine that it’s you who’s going through that suffering. Would you be as kind and patient with yourself as with your friend? If your answer is no, then you need to work on the first room in the house: self-love.

Self-love means being empathetic toward yourself. It's a skill that involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you show others rather than defining yourself by the external love you receive or want. Remember, you're here to build a home within yourself.

Love is a power that's inside of you. When you give your love to someone else, you shouldn't feel empty. The key is to first use it to strengthen yourself; then you’ll have more, even infinite, love to direct outward.

Self-love means embracing yourself for who you are, but it also exists in your ability to recognize and receive the love around you. Sometimes, like when we’re in chronic pain or caught up in the emotions of others, we forget that there’s love out there for us – and that it’s not selfish to let it in.

So here’s a simple activity you can practice to help develop your self-love. Every morning, tell yourself, “Today I am going to see proof that I am worthy of love.” Keep this in mind throughout the day, and collect all the affirmations of your worth: a smile, a friendly conversation, a nice text message.

When you look back on these small acts of love at the end of the day, remember that you’re not trying to define your worth through some external source. Rather, your ability to recognize love in the world around you is already the proof you need. In short, let yourself see love, and you’ll realize you’re worthy of it.

Once you’ve spent some time meditating on these thoughts in the Self-love room, you can move on to the room of Forgiveness.

Use forgiveness to free yourself from your pain.

We’re all weighed down by pain. It could be from a friend who broke our trust, or the blame we pile on ourselves for a poor decision we made. Whether this pain comes from our own actions or the actions of others, the only way to truly heal and feel at home within ourselves is through forgiveness.

This is the next room you need to build and furnish.

Be in control of who you’re letting into your life.

The home you’re building inside yourself is a place of safety, a place where you’re comfortable living as your authentic self. But that doesn’t mean it’s a place of solitude. Just like any home, you can and should invite others into your heart.

It’s time to focus on the next room – the only one of your rooms that’s meant for others. This is the room of Compassion.

Examine yourself with care and honesty.

Who are you? Chances are, your answer involves a mixture of experiences, jobs, physical attributes, family members, and cultural and religious expectations – everything that culminates in the consciousness of the person sitting here now, reading this Blink.

Do you have a clear picture? It’s common to feel like other people don’t see us for who we really are. But can you truly say that you can see yourself?

Surrender to yourself.

You’re nearly done exploring the home you’re building in your soul. It feels good, doesn’t it? You feel safe and self-aware in ways you never have before. Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door. You’re not expecting guests – who could it be?

You peek through the keyhole, and there it is: The negative emotion you’ve been avoiding. The pain you don’t want to deal with. The thought you don’t want to explore. You could try waiting it out in another room, but you know the knocking is just going to get louder. This house isn’t a place for you to hide; it’s a place for you to live.

Kernaussagen in Welcome Home