Name: The Road to Character
Rating: 3.8 (143 reviews)
Author: David Brooks

What’s in it for me? Learn how society can rid itself from its obsession with the self.

Your Facebook newsfeed is full of it; your Twitter feed, too. Selfies on the beach on holiday, self-obsessed complaints about minor problems, videos and pictures and comments about “me.”

Social media mirrors our current state of society, and that state is all about the cult of “me.” Everything we do, see or consume is boiled down to the promotion of me and what I want.

It wasn’t always this way. Society once valued people who embodied the virtues of honesty, humility and faithfulness. To promote oneself as special or all important was just not done.

So when did it become all about “me?” How can we return to a time in which society’s noble qualities ensured that everyone was valued, together? These blinks will give you the answers.

In these blinks you’ll discover

what George Eliot can teach you about opening yourself to others;
why we should be honest about our imperfections; and
where we have gone wrong in how we raise children.

Today’s society values the “me,” the extrovert that lives in each one of us. But this wasn’t always so.

The idea of multiple, conflicting personalities within each person has long been the subject of philosophical investigation, captivating thinkers throughout history.

Each person is composed of two competing personality types, called Adams. Depending on society’s prevailing culture, people lean toward one or the other type.

Our “Adam I” type is an “alpha,” a personality that projects outward, most comfortable in a success-obsessed society. He wants a career, social status; he’s a winner and will fight to remain so.

In contrast, our “Adam II” type is an introvert. Today’s society wants nothing to do with him. He has a strong moral compass and strives to become more virtuous. Think of Adam II as the core of what makes a human “human,” displaying traits such as kindness, bravery, honesty and devotion.

So while each person embodies these two basic types, one is often overshadowed by the other.

In the past few decades, American society has made a shift from the moralistic world of Adam II to the self-centered one of Adam I.

Consider how in America, public figures used to emphasize traits such as humility. For instance, George Bush Sr., who grew up in the era of Adam II, barely spoke about himself, even during his presidential campaigns. In fact, he was so keen to avoid self-promotion that he crossed out the word “I” in all his campaign speeches!

But this age has come and gone.

Today people are pushed to obsess over themselves and live only for their own desires. This message is evident in everything from movies to self-help books to celebrity commencement speeches: You’re unique. Follow your dreams! Don’t accept any limits, and never change.

Society has made a shift, from a focus on humility and reservedness to a focus on individual desire.

When the news got out that American troops had killed Osama bin Laden in May 2011, the streets of many US cities were packed with cheering citizens. Politicians and celebrities openly rejoiced.

Now consider a similar event from a different era: Victory in Europe (VE) day, 1945. With the end of World War II, Americans were certainly happy, yet victory celebrations were far more reserved.

Modern society has lost its connection to the moral values that lead to true joy and satisfaction.

So as society has become more individualistic and self-promoting, how has this shift affected our culture and our individual lives?

Today’s Adam I-dominated zeitgeist encourages us to follow our desires wherever they may lead us. But as we chase our wants, we lose sight of deeper principles.

The long road to character begins with understanding that all humans are flawed creatures.

So as society fills itself with self-centered individuals, it becomes divorced from humanity’s deeper morals. But how do we change this? By embracing the flaws inherent in all of us.

Consider this: experiencing suffering makes you more grateful by helping you realize that you don’t deserve most of the love you receive. When you realize this, you become more grateful for the affection and attention of others.

Toss pride by the wayside. Only by freeing yourself from pride can you walk the road to character.

On the road to character, you’ll need the support of an external force to help you cope with your internal struggles. Your support base could be family, friends, ancestors or mentors, or even God.

For instance, George Eliot, the pen name of famous writer Mary Anne Evans, would never have found such literary and personal success without the support of her partner, George Lewes.

Kernaussagen in The Road to Character