Social Chemistry Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Social Chemistry

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Zusammenfassung von Social Chemistry

Name: Social Chemistry
Rating: 4.3 (120 reviews)
Author: Marissa King

Marissa King

Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection

4.3 (120 Bewertungen)

28 Min.

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Self-Help Networking

Inhaltsübersicht

Social Chemistry
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Kernaussage 1 von 8

What’s in it for me? Learn how to network well.

Just how important is your network? Ask Vernon Jordan. In 1960s Georgia, Jordan secured an internship only to have the offer rescinded when his employers realized he was Black. In need of work, he went on to take a job as a driver to Robert Maddox, Atlanta’s former mayor.

Jordan has an enviable ability to form connections and to parlay those connections into new ones. His connection with Maddox propelled him to success as an executive and civil rights leader. And his network now includes Barack Obama and Morgan Freeman. He sits on nine executive boards and was once described as the quickest path between any two Fortune 500 companies.

In short, Jordan understands how to network and how networks work. Learn to do the same and your connections might take you all the places you’ve dreamed of going.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

the difference between strong and weak ties;
what kind of networker you are; and
why you’re never more than six connections away from the person you want to meet.

Networking isn’t a chore if you know how to do it well.

You, like most people, probably hate networking. The word might conjure corporate networking events where participants look over their conversation partners’ shoulders in search of someone more important to talk to. Or conferences where you come away with a stack of business cards and only a faint recollection of the people who own the cards.

But think for a minute about the role relationships play in your life. A network of relationships can bring comfort, joy, intimacy, new perspectives, new experiences and so much more. When you really think about it, it’s surprising we don’t pour more time into our networks.

The key message is: Networking isn’t a chore if you know how to do it well.

Slick corporate networking misses the point. It’s founded on the misplaced belief that simply knowing more people brings benefits. More social status, job offers, financial gain, and insider intelligence.

But authentic networking isn’t about treating people as assets and relationships as commodities, it’s about finding common ground, facilitating new relationships, and maintaining old ones. A good networker focuses not only on what she can give people but also on what she can get from them.

So, how can you become a good networker? First, learn your networking style. You probably conform to one of three main types: expansionist, broker, or convenor.

An expansionist is a hit at every conference and cocktail hour. Why? This networker is at ease with approaching strangers and exceptionally talented at forging spontaneous ties. If you’re an expansionist, you probably have an address book full of contacts. But while you know all your connections, your connections are less likely to know each other.

A broker tends to have a diverse network of people with different interests and expertise. Brokers are naturals at bringing these varied people together by, for example, introducing their archeologist friend to that cyber-security expert they know. The connections the broker facilitates often result in innovation and collaboration. If you’re a broker, most of your contacts are, like you, creative and open-minded.

A convenor’s network is closely interconnected. Not only are all the convenor’s key contacts valued and intimate friends, but the convenor has worked at fostering deeper relationships between those contacts. As a result, the convenor’s friends are very likely to know and move in the same circles as each other. If you’re a convenor, you’re probably trusted and valued within your network, thanks to the quality of the relationships you’ve forged there.

No one style of networking is better than the other. But learning which style is yours can help you become a better networker.

The ideal network blends quality and quantity.

Which is more important – the quality or quantity of your connections?

Quality is obviously important. Your closest relationships are where you enjoy trust and intimacy, where you turn for support and advice. But, as the anthropologist Robin Dunbar has found, the average person only has the time and cognitive energy to maintain highly intimate relationships with two to five people. The maximum number of stable – read friendly – relationships we can maintain hovers at 150.

Convenors create networks based on trust, intimacy, and exclusivity.

Which of these A-list celebrities is most likely to be a convenor: George Clooney, Viola Davis, Emma Stone, or Brad Pitt?

It’s a trick question: they all are.

Brokers bring diverse connections together.

Ferran Adrià is regarded by foodies as one of the world’s greatest living chefs. During his tenure at restaurant El Bulli, he played with form and texture to create stunning new dishes. But while Adrià has the reputation of a lone genius, the chef is quick to credit his team and his network for his success. El Bulli’s kitchen was based around collaboration, and Adrià looked to friends in fields as diverse as physics and architecture for inspiration. Adrià is a classic broker.

Convenors’ networks occur naturally among people who share an interest or identity, like university alumni, or tech workers. Brokers pull off something more challenging. They create connections across groups of people, in configurations where different perspectives and expertise are exchanged.

Expansionists have impressively broad networks.

Most people can count an average of 600 people in their networks. But for expansionists, that number’s much higher. Expansionists are much more likely to fall into the class that network scientists dub superconnectors, people with a network of 6,000 or more.

For many people, that sounds like a staggering number of connections, even in this era of social media. But 6,000 isn’t even the upper limit. Former US president Franklin Delano Roosevelt had over 22,500 names in his address book. Pretty impressive, considering FDR died more than 60 years before Facebook was invented.

Borrow from other networking styles and network to your advantage.

Whether you’re a convenor, broker, or expansionist, your networking style should come naturally to you. But that style isn’t set in stone. There’s nothing to stop a convenor from brokering a connection between two acquaintances from different backgrounds. Or an expansionist from cultivating strong ties.

In fact, if you want to level up your networking game, you need to hybridize your networking, adopting the best tactics from other networking styles.

Creating connections is a skill that can be learned.

Conventional advice about networking tends to focus on your connections – plural. But what about each individual connection? After all, without them, you’d have no network. Just as it’s critical to manage and leverage your connections, it’s also important to effectively form, maintain, and grow the one-on-one relationships that make up your network.

Creating connections can be daunting. But it’s not impossible.

Your network connects you across the globe.

Ever heard of the “six degrees of separation” theory? It posits that everyone in the world is, theoretically, only six connections away from every other person in the world. And it has its basis in an actual experiment run in 1967 by a researcher called Stanley Milgram. He assigned 300 people in the US a packet. Each packet was designated for the same target, a stockbroker working in Boston. Participants could only pass the packet on to someone they knew on a first-name basis. In the end, the packet only had to be passed, on average, through 5.2 intermediaries before it reached the stockbroker.

Milgram’s experiment was titled “The Small World Problem.” And from its results, it’s easy to conclude the world is indeed smaller than you might think. Another key takeaway? Your network is more far-reaching than you might think.

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Worum geht es in Social Chemistry?

Social Chemistry (2020) is a fresh research-based approach to something that many professionals regard as a necessary evil: networking. The author demystifies how we network and explains the different networking modes available to us. The result is a convincing argument for the transformative power of good networking.

Bestes Zitat aus Social Chemistry

In combination, brokers, expansionists, and convenors make the world small.

—Marissa King

Wer Social Chemistry lesen sollte

Anyone who hates the idea of traditional networking events
Professionals who are inundated with business cards but can’t leverage their networks
Everyone who’s wanted to connect with a stranger but wasn’t quite sure how to do it

Über den Autor

Marissa King is a professor of organizational behavior at Yale University with a special interest in networks, social influence, and group dynamics. Her work on networking has been deployed in the opioid crisis and the fight against the loneliness epidemic. Her research features in publications like the New York Times and the Atlantic.

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