You Can Negotiate Anything summary

Some people see negotiations as a win-lose battle, where one party’s gain is always the other party’s loss. This “winning at all costs” strategy is deployed around the globe, but the former Soviet Union is a prime example of its use. Because these negotiation tactics are so widespread, you must be able to identify them and protect yourself against them.

A clear trait of Soviet-style negotiators is that they take ridiculous initial positions and are then unwilling to make significant concessions. When the Soviet Union sought to purchase land on Long Island for its embassy’s recreational use, it initially offered $125,000 for the property worth $420,000. When the seller dropped the price to $360,000, the Soviets viewed this as a sign of weakness.

A win-lose negotiation mindset implies that there is a set amount of “pie” to be divided up, and each party must fight for theirs. If both parties fight ferociously, the common solution is a compromise, which despite its positive connotations actually means both parties are giving up something that they want. But a true win-win negotiation is also possible.

Usually people focus on the demands the other side makes in a negotiation, whereas they should really try to understand their underlying needs and unexpressed desires. Since every person has unique, differing needs, several people can usually be satisfied without anyone losing. This requires their needs to be harmonized.

In negotiations, the opposing sides usually have many sources of power at their disposal.

For example, when negotiating with your boss, she usually has a very concrete form of power at her disposal: the power to reward or punish you through e.g. the tasks she assigns to you.

Imagine you’re still trying to buy a fridge at a department store. What kind of powers could you use to improve your chances of getting a discount?

Instead of going straight for the model you want, you could ask the sales clerk to show you every single fridge in the store. You ask lots of technical questions, forcing him to dig up manuals for each model, and then you say that you’ll have to think about it. The next day, you come back with your brother and ask the sales clerk to again demonstrate every model in the shop since your brother “knows about fridges”.

If you know the needs, deadlines and constraints of your counterpart in a negotiation, you are always in a strong position compared to your opponent.

You gather this information by starting early. Most people think of negotiations as a clearly defined event that happens at a given moment in time, like when you meet with your boss to discuss a raise. In fact, negotiations are a process and this process begins far before you actually sit down at a table.

Time plays a key role in negotiations. Just as students tend to hand in their term papers at the last minute, so too do negotiations tend to make the most progress as the deadline approaches.

If your opponent’s deadline for concluding negotiations is at noon, whereas you have no fixed deadline and could go on negotiating at a leisurely pace for weeks, who do you think has the advantage? You do because as your opponent’s deadline approaches, she will need to start making concessions to ensure a deal is reached.

In any negotiation, you will increase your chances of success if you can make things personal by getting the opposing side to identify with you as a human being. This could be as simple as behaving decently and generally being likeable, but some skilled negotiators also try to win sympathy from their opponents by playing weak.

For instance, if a cop pulls you over on the highway, you will be much better off playing the lost tourist on the brink of tears than a know-it-all big shot in a hurry.