Shift summary

Emotions reach into every corner of human existence, guiding our choices from small, daily routines to major life decisions. While they can be quiet at times – like faint background music – they can roar to the forefront at others, making it hard to imagine feeling any other way. 

Whichever way they might manifest, emotions are indispensable – they’re signals that help us navigate relationships, interpret experiences, and respond to unexpected events. 

But before we move on to how we manage them effectively, we must first dispel a common misconception: the belief that emotional feelings are the opposite of rational thought. On the contrary, feelings and thoughts are inextricably intertwined. Physical sensations – like a racing heartbeat or lump in the throat – require cognitive processing for us to make sense of them. Then, collectively, these two distinct components come together to form an emotional response. 

Next, it’s key to remember that, from an evolutionary standpoint, emotions aren’t a bug; they’re a feature. Emotions prompt us to flee danger, seek comfort, and savor triumph. Even so-called “negative” emotions – think sadness, anger, guilt – can be useful, alerting us that something requires our attention or a change in approach. 

The question, then, is how to keep emotions from overwhelming us or lingering longer than is helpful. While we can’t stop emotions from arising any more than we can the sun, we can influence whether they intensify or fade.

This is where emotion regulation enters the scene. By deciding how to interpret an internal experience, altering our perspective, and carefully choosing our response, we can affect the duration and intensity of what we feel. 

In this Blink, we’ll explore two internal shifters of emotion and two external shifters. Although few of us were ever taught how to wield these tools wisely, they will likely sound familiar – you’ve probably used one or two in the past month without knowledge of the science behind them. 

But before we unpack these, let’s just pause for a second to discuss an important point: emotion regulation is not about striving to banish life’s storms and seek only sunshine. Instead, emotion regulation is about building the capacity to appreciate, adapt to, and shift from whatever weather system happens to come our way. In addition, some of us may benefit from complementary support from licensed professionals or prescribed medication. 

Either way, emotion regulation starts with recognizing that you have more influence over your emotions than you might have been led to believe and equipping yourself with the following tools to wield if and when needed.