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Zusammenfassung von Ask For It

Name: Ask For It
Rating: 4.5 (19 reviews)
Author: Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever

Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever

How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Want

4.5 (19 Bewertungen)

19 Min.

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What’s in it for me? Learn the right way to ask for what you want.

In most cases, when a woman is said to be asking for it, it’s not a nice insinuation, and the outcome is never desirable.

These blinks, however, will show you that asking for it is all about taking control of your life and going after what you deserve. Furthermore, they will guide you through the process of negotiation and tackle some common issues that women face, leaving you better equipped the next time you’re asking for a raise or arguing with your partner over, for example, getting a pet cat or dog.

Effective negotiation skills are useful in many situations, no matter how big or small. More importantly, learning how to negotiate will lead not only to better relationships with those around you but also with yourself.

In these blinks, you’ll find out:

what the TV show The Closer has to do with negotiating salaries;
the difference between male and female perspectives on the world; and
what a BATNA is and why it’s useful.

Find out what you want in life by asking what’s missing.

When we were children, grown-ups often asked us what we wanted to do when we grow up. Even now, as adults, we still get asked the same question.

Unfortunately, for most of us, the answer isn’t easy. In particular, it’s hard for modern-day women to separate their true desires and ambitions from what they’ve been told they should want. This is because women have been socialized to act according to what is expected of them instead of being encouraged to follow their personal wishes.

For example, Vanessa, a friend of the author’s, didn’t know which career to pursue after college. Since both her mother and sister had become teachers, she thought that it was only fitting that she follow the same path. However, once she entered the profession, she found it wasn’t the job for her.

Knowing that she needed a change, Vanessa closed her eyes and tried to imagine what she truly wanted. What she saw was herself working somewhere outdoors, among nature, and she realized that she wanted to work in a garden. Vanessa then went on to start her very own landscaping company.

To work out what you want in life, you need to start by asking yourself what’s missing.

One way could be rediscovering old activities that you used to partake in and enjoy. Michele, another friend of the author’s, was a principal. She had a good job and a loving family, but despite it all, there was a part of her that felt unfulfilled. Remembering her childhood, Michele was reminded of how she used to enjoy drawing and sketching. Turns out it was creativity that was absent from her life, and so she signed up for drawing classes and rediscovered a favorite hobby. As a result, Michele’s life became more balanced and full of happiness.

After you work out what you want, you’re ready to learn that you can control your own life. In the next blink, let’s have a look at making that happen.

Women often believe they have no control over their lives and therefore don’t ask for raises.

Picture yourself in a fancy hotel suite. Everything you need is there in your room – a comfortable king-size bed, a large TV, a handsome desk, a cushy armchair, scented candles, and so on. All except for a bathrobe. More often than not, most women would simply accept this circumstance even though they would really want that bathrobe. Why is that?

The answer was revealed in a series of studies carried out in the 1980s and 1990s. According to this research, women are more likely to believe that life is controlling them instead of the other way around. Furthermore, the studies found that women often dealt with whatever situation arose without complaint and that they believed they had no real influence on the outcome.

Negotiation happens every day, and you need to be prepared for it.

When you hear the word negotiation, what springs to mind? Most people think of business meetings, political debates and structured agendas. However, most negotiations occur in more informal settings.

In fact, negotiations happen every day. People use negotiation as a tool to help bring about change when the desired outcome is dependent on the cooperation of others. The implementation of change can be something as ordinary as requesting that your salad comes without croutons or something that involves a bit more discussion, such as asking for a four-day working week instead of five.

Don’t ask for too much, but don’t undervalue yourself either.

People think that being a good negotiator means you need to know how to bluff. But unless you’re a master of the poker face, there are other, less-risky skills you can use. In fact, the most powerful asset you can have during a negotiation is information.

To negotiate successfully, you need to know which requests are reasonable and which aren’t. For instance, let’s say you ask for a 15 percent raise, which your boss denies. Should you stop there? Absolutely not. Try showing your boss data stating that the average salary for your position earns 15 percent more than what you’re getting. This will surely get your boss’ attention.

During negotiations, you should focus on what you want as well as what’s important for the other party.

When asked to focus on a specific task, it’s easy to overlook the obvious. In a well-known study, participants were asked to focus on particular details of a basketball game, which somehow distracted them from seeing a person dressed in a gorilla suit walking across the court!

Similarly, in negotiation, you might miss crucial information if you’re overly focused on your own goals.

It is better to be in cooperation than competition, so consider the interests of all involved.

Showing interest in others, coming up with creative solutions, listening attentively and working together are qualities that women tend to possess.

These qualities are also key to negotiation, so it stands to reason that women can become great negotiators.

Unfortunately, women still feel the need to watch what they say and remain pleasant.

By now you’ve probably gathered that women are capable of negotiating like men.

The sad reality, however, is that women still have to closely monitor the way they communicate.

In a negotiation, you need to remain focused on your upper target and be patient.

A television show from 2011 called The Closer was so titled because the main character, who ran a police department, was skilled at closing elaborate criminal investigations.

Let’s dive into a few finishing moves that will make you the closer in every negotiation.

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Worum geht es in Ask For It?

Ask For It (2008) gives women advice on how to successfully negotiate to get the jobs and salaries they want and deserve. These blinks outline the do’s and don’ts of negotiation so that those who aren’t used to asking for more can learn how to do so the right way.

Bestes Zitat aus Ask For It

It sounds like a little thing, but doing something completely different from what I [usually] do – I cant tell you what it did for my sanity.

—Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever

Wer Ask For It lesen sollte

Women who want to be better negotiators
Anyone who’s afraid to ask for what they want
Women looking to further their careers

Über den Autor

Linda Babcock is a professor of economics and has won several awards as an educator. Her research has been published in the American Economic Review and the Quarterly Journal of Economics, among others.

Sara Laschever is a writer who renders complex themes into enjoyable and accessible prose. She writes about many topics such as pop culture, literature and science and has been featured in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, Glamour and Vogue.

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