The Ultimate Introduction to NLP summary

Conflict arises when people’s mind maps have them interpret the world differently, which is exactly why it’s important to expand your map as much as possible.

Expanding your map is vital to living a happier life. When you broaden your map, you’re able to view the world from more perspectives. Your relationships also improve when you’re better at empathizing with other people’s feelings and opinions – and you’ll feel better, too.

Have you ever thought about something scary and suddenly felt anxious? Not surprisingly, your thoughts have a major impact on how you feel, both physically and emotionally.

Our thoughts are like images of a film reel – and they can profoundly alter our emotions. And, sticking with the same analogy, you can change your emotions by adjusting the colors, brightness or noise level of the images in your thoughts. Think of it like watching a film in a cinema instead of at home: it’s the same film either way, but the experience is better in the theater.

Have you ever noticed that happy people improve your mood, while depressed people bring you down?

Emotions are contagious. Other people’s emotions influence you, and your emotions influence other people in turn.

Have you ever clicked with someone as soon as you met them? If so, it was probably because your communication styles matched, both verbally and nonverbally.

We naturally adjust our communication style to suit the person we’re talking to; it’s called matching. Matching is an important part of communicating effectively.

We’ve looked at how our internal maps cause us to make generalizations about the world around us. But we also make generalizations about people, which can be a problem for communication.

The meta model is a good tool for avoiding this, and challenging other people to expand their maps as well.

Do you ever make yourself worried about the future by dwelling on the problems you’ve had in the past? Negative thoughts are powerful – so don’t let them control your future!

Not letting your past control your future is a crucial aspect of maintaining your happiness. The author once did an exercise related to this in an NLP seminar. First he told the audience to breathe slowly and steadily, then he asked them to think about five wonderful events from their past that they could remember vividly.