The Truth About Trust summary

Think of the last time you decided whether to trust someone. Could you feel it in your stomach or in the beating of your heart? There’s a good chance you did, because we feel trust as much in our bodies as in our minds.

That’s because our feelings of trust have a physiological base.

We often think of children as easy to fool, but when it comes to trust, children are a lot less gullible than commonly believed.

In fact, due to their vulnerability, there is a strong evolutionary reason for children to figure out early upon whom they can rely.

All types of adult relationships, from friendship to employment, involve some level of mutual dependence. But when love enters the equation, trust takes on a fundamental importance.

From an evolutionary perspective, the trustworthiness of a potential co-parent is more important than that of anyone else.

We all need to place our trust in others to obtain what we can’t obtain alone. But what about someone who is completely self-sufficient, who has everything they need, and doesn’t need the support of others?

We’re talking about people with high socioeconomic status – those who have lots of money, power and influence. Research indicates that since they already have most of their needs fulfilled and are less dependent on others, they’re more likely to be selfish.

If you claim you can always trust yourself to make the right decision, think again.

Actually, trusting yourself is a lot like trusting someone else: you’re placing a bet on what another person, “the future you” is likely to do – and experiments show that the future you rarely acts predictably.

Shifty eyes are a reliable indicator that a person is lying, right? Actually, contrary to what many people believe, isolated gestures and expressions will tell you nothing about whether a person is trustworthy or not.

To interpret cues about trustworthiness correctly, context is key and, more specifically, two facets of context: configural and situational.

No one can deny that technology has radically changed how people interact with each other.

And today we’re using technology to be social just like in real life – but with a twist.

The key message in this book:

Trust is fundamental to all relationships. When we trust someone, we take a gamble that they’ll prioritize the long-term relationship we’ve built together instead of indulging their immediate desires. Despite this risk of betrayal, trust is worth it as it allows people to work together towards the greater rewards that only cooperation can give.