Calm the F*ck Down summary

Life has an uncanny way of throwing lemons. And when it does, our instinct is often to freak the fuck out. But here’s the funny thing: freaking out doesn’t always look the same. People process setbacks differently – heck, even the same person can respond differently on any given day.

Before we get to the nitty-gritty of dealing with the stress or shitstorm we’re currently experiencing, it can help to familiarize ourselves with the faces freakouts commonly wear so we can better handle the steps that follow. Fortunately for us, freakouts usually come wearing one of only four faces.

First, there’s anxiety – that buzzing, restless voice in your head spinning out endless “what ifs” like a runaway carousel. When anxiety has you tangled up, an effective way of running a quick detangle is to focus on something else. Anything else. Perhaps today’s the day you discover what a wild array of sock choices your colleagues sport.

Then there’s sadness – the heavy, draining weight that makes everything feel harder. The short-term solution here isn’t complicated – just try a spot of self-care. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a close friend who’s feeling low. That might mean a nap, a little chocolate, a long bath, or replaying a YouTube video that makes you guffaw. You do you.

The third possible face a freakout can wear is anger – the fiery rush that can blow small problems into big ones in no time. When you feel yourself heating up, why not take a hot minute to imagine where future-you winds up after acting on their Hulk-like rage? The image of their broken wrist or instant unemployment can often be enough to cool your jets.

Finally, freakouts can manifest through avoidance – the sneaky urge to pretend the problem isn’t there, hoping it will magically disappear. But we all know deep down that ignoring things only makes them worse. The antidote? Make one tiny move. Reply to that text, book that appointment, or simply get showered and dressed for the day ahead.

No, none of these actions alone are sufficient to deal with the stress or shitstorm life has delivered you today – don’t worry, we’ll be rolling up our sleeves in the following sections. But awareness of the different ways your freakout may be manifesting can be empowering, and a band-aid fix is sometimes what the doctor calls for.

With a little self-awareness and a few smart strategies, you can keep your cool, regain your balance, and maybe even turn those lemons life keeps handing you into a surprisingly refreshing beverage. You’ll likely need the sugar hit.