Platonic summary

Let’s say you relocated to a new city to take that once-in-a-lifetime job offer. You moved away from everyone you knew, and now you're completely alone. As a social being, you’d naturally want to seek out new pals.

But how can you do that when all you do is sit quietly at your desk and then head straight home after clocking out? Hate to break it to you, but people won’t just magically appear in your living room offering you friendship. It's up to you to take the lead and put yourself out there.

Say you’ve made a new friend by taking initiative. The challenge now is figuring out how to maintain and strengthen that relationship. This is where vulnerability comes into play. Being vulnerable means sharing the most fragile and humiliating pieces of yourself with others. 

Admittedly, this isn't an easy thing to do – you don't want others to perceive you as weak. But contrary to popular belief, people feel closer to those who are vulnerable. As Dr. Anna Bruk's research suggests, others don't actually pass negative judgment as much as we think. In fact, when we're vulnerable, they’re more likely to think we’re authentic and honest – and connect more deeply as a result. 

Aside from revealing your weak side, another surefire way to cement the friendship is by being your true self. But what does being authentic even mean? Does it mean admitting to your friend that you actually dislike their partner? Or telling them that they’re having a bad hair day? Or giving them unsolicited feedback?

Well, no. These actions are all about rawness. Authenticity, on the other hand, goes beyond just expressing what you want, think, or feel.

Are you at odds with your significant other? Simply turn to friends and family, or read blogs and books, and you can get your hands on a lot of advice to help you work things out. But what if a conflict arises between you and your friends? Where do you turn to then?

Unfortunately, there are a lot fewer tips on resolving conflict between friends. That’s because, as studies report, we tend to avoid disagreements with friends more than with romantic partners. It's difficult to open up about things that upset us because we often convince ourselves that we have no right to feel the way we do. So instead of expressing our frustration, we stuff it down and hope the problem goes away. 

You probably have that one friend who goes above and beyond, whether it's by sending cookies they baked themselves or by bringing back souvenirs from their trips. You adore them not because you like getting gifts, but because they make you feel valued. That's the effect generosity has on friendships. It's like a magnet that draws people together, and it helps make existing relationships even closer. 

This is exemplified in the results of a poll conducted by the investing advice firm Motley Fool. The company surveyed more than a thousand Americans – and found that generous people tend to have deeper connections, a wider circle of friends, and more social support in times of need. 

When was the last time you told a friend how much they mean to you? How much you enjoy having them in your life? How much you appreciate them supporting you through your problems?

If you're like most people, you probably don't tell your friends stuff like this very often – you're not used to showing affection in friendships. Again, this mainly comes down to doubt. We don't want to come off as weird, and we certainly don't want them to think we have romantic feelings for them.