I Don't Agree summary

Evolutionary biologist Charles Darwin wrote extensively about the finches that live in the Galápagos Islands. What’s so interesting about these birds is how the species has evolved over time. The finches have undergone a remarkable number of adaptations that allow them to survive in the resource-scarce islands. For example, some finches live off insects and leaves, while some of them live off prickly cacti! These adaptations mean that the finches can coexist – they aren’t competing for the same scarce food sources.

Anyone working in the corporate world will have become very tired of hearing about collaboration. The term gets tossed around by CEOs and managers all the time. In fact, a study by IBM found that three-quarters of the CEOs that it surveyed talked about collaboration being central to success.

Being proud isn’t considered to be a positive thing. In fact, pride is listed as one of the deadly sins.

Look at the senior staff of most corporations and you’ll most probably find a crowd of men, and a small handful of women. Despite progress in gender equality, women are still discriminated against when it comes to getting senior positions in companies.

How do you greet new colleagues or acquaintances? If you’re like many people, you may plaster a big smile onto your face, and hold eye contact.

Cultural differences don’t stop at body language. More fundamentally, they can shape our core values and how we imagine our communities. Seventy percent of the people in the world come from collectivist cultures. That means that they live in societies that put the needs of the group ahead of the individual, and value familial relationships and connectedness above all.

Some disagreements are so acrimonious that they seem impossible to resolve. Think of the furious fighting between Democrats and Republicans in the US. Or a couple slinging insults at each other in a very nasty divorce.

Sometimes, the best communication skills can be learned by the people who have the most to lose in a conflict. Hostage negotiators are a prime example.

As you’ve learned from the high-stakes world of hostage negotiation, resolving conflict is about being able to understand the other person’s position. Nowhere is this skill more useful than when you’re trying to get agreement from multiple stakeholders.