Happy Fat summary

Since childhood, Sofie had been taught that there was something wrong with her body and that she should hate it. When she became a stand-up comedian, she even transformed her self-loathing into a set – telling jokes about how fat and lazy she was and making everybody laugh.

She thought that one day, when she lost weight, she would be able to love her body. It never occurred to her that she could be fat and have healthy self-esteem. 

Try to think of a movie or TV show that features a fat character. Now reflect on how that character is portrayed. Chances are they’re not shown as smart, successful, or happy.

When Sofie woke up to the fact that she had been brainwashed into hating her body, she started noticing how fat people were depicted in the world around her. She realized that her negative view of being fat was not at all surprising – she had learned it through almost everything she’d seen.

We’ve all seen shows like The Biggest Loser, which spread the idea that fat people could lose all their weight and become “winners” if they just dieted and exercised strictly enough.

Sofie grew up with these TV programs, as well as ads claiming that pills and potions were a surefire way to shed pounds. She devoured weight-loss books and joined weight-loss support groups. And over time, she did lose a lot of weight. But she also gained it all back. 

“How can Sofie say that it’s OK to love her body just the way it is when it’s so unhealthy to be fat?” 

This seemingly innocent question is used as justification for continued discrimination against Sofie and other fat people. The logic? People can’t possibly be expected to embrace something that will eventually kill them. 

Imagine you’re sitting in a restaurant, enjoying a cup of coffee and some scrambled eggs. Suddenly, you realize that a group of people are staring at you and meanly snickering. Or you’re walking along the street and someone screams that you’re ugly and disgusting. Imagine these things happening every day, multiple times a day, wherever you are. 

Fat people’s lives are a minefield of daily discriminations – from the doctor’s office to a dating site, from the school playground to the beach. Fat individuals find it harder to get jobs and are paid less. In most US states, it’s even legal to fire someone for being fat. 

Discrimination against fat people is a huge problem. You might even call it an epidemic. Most of us don’t want to be bullies or endanger people’s health, but how do we stop judging when we’ve grown up as part of a fatphobic world? And how can we actively support fat people in the face of violence and hostility?

The first step is to become aware that if you’re thin you’ve been endowed with an abundance of  privileges: You won’t be deemed lazy or unattractive based on what your body looks like. You won’t have to worry about whether you can fit into the chair at a movie. Essentially, the world caters to you. 

Sofie’s life changed when she realized, at age 23, that she could love her body just as it was. This freedom allowed her to live in the present and released her from years of torturous self-loathing and abuse. 

But accepting this is easier said than done when you live in a world that persists in telling you that the way you look is unhealthy, unattractive, and disgusting. You have to go against every piece of advertising, every movie representation, every dating profile reading “no fats.” How do you ignore these external voices and cultivate your internal sense of self-worth?