The Greater Freedom summary

All women face pressure to be physically attractive, and all women are judged on their appearance. Being attractive opens doors and creates opportunities: this is called the Halo Effect.

But for Arab women, the pressure is more intense. Arab women are held to a higher standard, by society, their families, and themselves. One Egyptian-British friend of Alya’s told her that in London, she frequently does the shopping with her hair tied up, but in Egypt, she wouldn’t dream of it. Worse, she would judge anyone in Egypt who went out with their hair up as slovenly.

When her family moved back to Cairo for a year when she was 13, Alya was devastated. She had to leave the friends it had taken her so long to make. On the first day of her new school, though, she felt welcomed. Many kids were members of her extended family, or had grandparents that had known her grandparents and so she felt like she was part of a community.

There’s a cocoon of safety in everyone knowing everyone, as she learned that first day at school in Cairo. But that’s also why Arab societies can be so stifling, especially for women. 

When she had sex for the first time, it was under what Alya describes as “really shitty circumstances.” She’d been taught to be conscious, and ashamed, of her body at all times. For her, guilt was inextricable from sexuality.

When she was 15 she met a guy she calls Satan. They exchanged numbers, and he started leaving her long, sappy voicemails. The trouble was, he was her friend’s boyfriend. Alya felt guilty, but thought that this was how you’re supposed to feel when you like someone. 

When it comes to marriage, Arab women face impossible expectations that completely disregard whatever their individual wishes might be. Not only is the expectation that they get married in the first place, women must marry young, marry the right person, and shoulder the burden for sustaining the marriage for the rest of their lives. 

This perception extends to include, for instance, situations like when a man has extra-marital affairs. In such scenarios, it’s widely seen as the wife’s fault for failing to maintain his attention. The same goes for divorce. In a survey of over two thousand respondents across the Arab world, divorced women were usually blamed for failing to keep their husbands happy.

For years, Alya would tell people she was “technically” a Muslim. She did this because the 9/11 attacks, and the resulting Islamophobia, made her want to de-emphasize her Muslim identity in her British communities.

Even scarier than this, though, is the judgement from practicing Muslims. She constantly lives in the expectation that she’ll be called out as a “bad Muslim.”

For many years, Alya didn’t identify as a feminist. She bought into the gendered stereotypes that men are chill and women are crazy. She thought she was an exception to her gender because she didn’t care about makeup and liked football. 

Eventually, though, she saw that sexism is all around us, and we internalize certain narratives. For example, a study asked participants to watch a startup pitch and decide whether the company deserved investment. When the pitch was voiced by a man, 68 percent thought the startup should get funding, but when a woman delivered the exact same pitch, only 32 percent said the same.

Alya Mooro is both Arab and British. She is also neither. Worldwide, immigrants and their children, sometimes known as third culture kids, are an increasingly large community. In London, for example, 37 percent of residents were born outside the UK. 

Alya realizes that she and many of her friends react to the expectations put on them in their different milieux. In Cairo, she performs English-ness. But in London, she tries hard to act like she’s not one of those Arabs who parks their Lamborghini on the sidewalk and buys out expensive department stores.