Good Boundaries and Goodbyes Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Name: Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
Rating: 4.1 (48 reviews)
Author: Lysa TerKeurst

Lysa TerKeurst

Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

4.1 (48 Bewertungen)

14 Min.

Themen

Christianity Love Self-Care

Inhaltsübersicht

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
in 7 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 7

What’s in it for me? Learn what you can do about bad relationships.

Too often, Christians assume that love one another and forgive mean accepting bad behavior and sacrificing themselves for the sake of other people’s dysfunctions. According to Lysa TerKeurst, this isn’t only unnecessary, but actually the opposite of honoring God’s will: We were never meant to sacrifice our identity, our health, or our safety in the name of believing in the best in people. In fact, when we do that, we end up perpetuating negative behaviors and bad relationships.

Setting good boundaries means protecting our identity and setting our relationships up for success. In this Blink, we’ll talk about the right and wrong ways to set these boundaries, the role of consequences, and how to know when it’s time to say goodbye. And since this book is primarily addressed to Christians, we’ll adopt the author’s Christian perspective.

Protect Your Identity

Who are you?

Take a moment to really think about it.

What did God intend when he created the unique person that is you? If you can’t answer that question, then you’ve found the root of your boundary problems. The truth is, you have to know who you are in order to set good boundaries.

And you also have to see yourself as being just as sufficient for God’s love as other people are. If you’re giving too much in your relationships because you believe it’s the Christian thing to do, you’re not alone in your misunderstanding of Christ’s command to forgive – more on that in a little while.

One way to really protect yourself from bad relationships is to build your relationship with God by spending time working on yourself. Sometimes when we don’t understand ourselves and our needs, we worry that God won’t be enough to fill the emptiness we’re feeling. This can lead to seeking out that fulfillment in other people.

But other people will never be able to fill that empty feeling inside of you. Only God can do that. So the foundation of any good relationship has to start with you having a good relationship with yourself and with God.

You Can’t Change Them

Unfortunately, achieving better relationships isn’t the finish line of a well-run race. In fact, it’s an ongoing process … and the name of that process is life.

Your goal in life should be to reach strength in your relationship with yourself and with God before seeking out new relationships. On the other hand, you certainly can’t wait for it to be perfect before working with the ones you have. So, one of the tricky things can be identifying when you’re in a damaging relationship.

Boundaries Are About Access

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean refusing to forgive someone or cutting off love. It’s about the level of access you give someone to your heart. Love is unconditional, but access should never be; the amount of access someone has should be directly commensurate to the level of responsibility they display.

Think of Adam and Eve. At first, they had unlimited access to God. But when they disobeyed, they showed a lack of responsibility that required a reduction in access.

Boundaries Are Your Responsibility

To better understand what a good boundary is, let’s first think about what it isn’t. It isn’t a way to perfect someone, enforce your judgment on someone, or punish someone. Boundary setting shouldn’t be done out of resentment or passive aggression.

Boundaries are there to put protection around your identity. While you should always be willing to evaluate and change your behavior, you should never change your identity.

Consequences, Not Threats

Boundaries only work if you apply consequences. This can be tricky, especially if you’re with someone who isn’t being respectful of your boundaries. Keep in mind that a consequence isn’t a threat, a punishment, or an ultimatum.

A consequence must be clearly stated and firmly adhered to. If you fail to follow through on the consequence, the other person will see your consequence as an empty threat. Someone resistant to your boundaries may accuse you of being hard-hearted, of making threats or ultimatums, or of taking things too seriously.

Say Goodbye

As a Christian, you’re called to forgive. And that calling can seem like it’s in conflict with ending relationships. But remember, your relationship with God isn’t unconditional. It depends on your obedience. He’ll always love you, but unless you follow him, you won’t live in eternity with him. That’s the ultimate goodbye.

On the other hand, when Adam and Eve – and by extension, all of humanity – were cast out of the garden, they were given guidelines for restoring our relationship with God. Goodbyes can be for a season or forever. And you may not get to know which is which.

Final Summary

Boundaries and goodbyes aren’t easy, but they’re your responsibility. Love is free to go on forever, but access to your heart or your life should only be given to those who treat that access with responsibility. So, set boundaries to keep yourself whole and protect your relationships. And if the time comes that the boundaries are no longer enough, understand that goodbyes are a part of life.

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von Good Boundaries and Goodbyes sehen?

Kernaussagen in Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in Good Boundaries and Goodbyes?

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes (2022) offers a Christian perspective on setting healthy boundaries and learning when and how to say goodbye.

Bestes Zitat aus Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23

—Lysa TerKeurst

Wer Good Boundaries and Goodbyes lesen sollte

Christian women who want to feel healthier in their relationships
Christians seeking a way to balance personal health with relationship health
Anyone contemplating or going through divorce or separation

Über den Autor

Lysa Terkeurst is the New York Times best-selling author of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget and Uninvited. Besides her work as an author, Lysa is a frequent speaker at the She Speaks Conference and is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Kategorien mit Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Communication Skills Religion & Spirituality Sex & Relationships

Ähnlich wie Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Lysa TerKeurst

Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

25 min

3.7

The Book of Boundaries

Melissa Urban

Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

17 min

4.2

Boundaries

Henry Cloud and John Townsend

When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

23 min

4.4

Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Nedra Glover Tawwab

A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

How To Stay Crazy In Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy

The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward

An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life

Why Should I and How Can I?

The Psychology of Persuasion

33 min

4.6

Gaslighting

Stephanie Moulton Sarkis

Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free

18 min

4.3

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

Kamal Ravikant

How the Simple Act of Self-Love Can Transform Your Life

The Secret to Achieving More with Less

Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

19 min

3.6

You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse

Melanie Tonia Evans

The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships

The Bulletproof Plan to Age Backward and Maybe Even Live Forever

24 min

4.2

Breaking the Cycle

George N. Collins with Andrew Adleman

Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame

19 min

Every Man's Battle

Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey

Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

A Story That Tells You How To Be One

A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships

366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature

30 min

4.5

Reinventing Your Life

Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko

The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behaviour...and Feel Great Again

Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts

The Collected Writings of Jeff Bezos

A Guide to What Matters Most

19 min

4.3

ADHD 2.0

Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction – from Childhood through Adulthood

The Science and Art of Longevity

How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

27 min

4.6

The Love Prescription

John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman

Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy

A Historical Novel about Love, Loss and Resilience in Nazi Germany

What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

A Strategic Plan to Improve Your Health and Life Through Food

25 min

4.5

The Porn Trap

Wendy Maltz & Larry Maltz

The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography

Future-Proof Your Career and Craft a Life Worthy of You

Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life.

How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

How We Meet and Why It Matters

Timeless Stoic and Buddhist philosophy

33 min

4.6

The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication

John C. Maxwell

Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message

101 Simple Truths for a Better Life

A guide to surviving your breakup with your self-respect in tow

23 min

4.4

When the Body Says No

Gabor Maté

The Cost of Hidden Stress

26 min

4.6

The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship

Scott Jeffrey Miller

13 Roles to Making a True Impact

Healing the Shame-Fueled Relationship Between What You Eat and How You Feel

A Daring Strategy to Change How We Live, Lead, and Love

Rethinking Infidelity

22 min

4.2

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.