Words Can Change Your Brain summary

Have you ever been around someone who constantly focuses on the negative? No matter the situation, they always find something to complain about. And they aren’t shy about sharing their frustrations, be it a slow elevator or weather that’s never to their liking.

No one would blame you for avoiding such a person because spending time around them can be incredibly draining. But did you know that negative thoughts affect more than morale? 

You've just arrived in a foreign land for your dream vacation. You hit the road, making your way to the beautiful seaside cottage you’ve rented with your best friend. But there’s a problem – you don’t have a map, and you get lost. To make matters worse, you have no way of contacting your friend. 

Communication is a lot like driving through the unknown. You need a map, and you need to stay in contact with the person you’re trying to reach. That’s why your inner values are so important. They act as your map. And when you share those values with the person you’re communicating with, you’re truly keeping in touch with them. This is the fifth of our 12 steps – reflecting on your inner values.

Here’s a fun fact: there are over 10,000 facial expressions! That’s over 10,000 ways that a face can convey something to an observer. Needless to say, most of us can’t pick up on each one. Usually, we’re not even conscious of our own facial expressions. 

That being said, we generally can spot an anxious face, a sad one, or an angry one. And this often influences how we choose to interact. Back in school, if a teacher walked in looking grim, you might have been nervous when speaking to them – or avoided them altogether. To steer clear of similar scenarios when communicating, you need to be conscious of your expressions. 

“You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” This saying may be dated, but that doesn’t make it any less true. People respond a lot better to warmth than they do to hostility. 

Think about it: if someone called you on the phone and sounded aggressive from the get-go, you’d be much less likely to hear them out or cooperate. Like this phone call, your attempts at communication can easily go downhill if you don’t use the right words and tone. 

The human brain has over 100 billion neurons with about 1 quadrillion connections between them. That’s right – quadrillion, with 15 zeros! This is part of the reason it’s considered the most powerful computer in existence. 

But despite this reputation, the brain can only hold four bits of information at once! When someone speaks, our brains actually choose what information to store. That means the last thing we should do during important conversations is share a lot of information in one go.