The Power of the Other summary

Every relationship falls into one of four categories or connection corners. Let's start with the three kinds of relationships you should avoid.

The first kind is a corner one relationship, in which you can’t claim a real connection with the other person. You don't exchange any meaningful information or positive energy with the person, so you don't get anything substantial out of the relationship.

Do you have close friends or relatives with whom you can fully be yourself? People with whom you don't have to fear letting your guard down?

When you're with people like this, you show your true self – not the false self you often present to the world.

Have you ever walked into a party, class or meeting and immediately felt good? Sometimes a space exudes positive energy, even if you can't put your finger on the reason why.

This feel-good energy is generated from corner four relationships.

A person who respects you won't necessarily solve your problems for you. In fact, the opposite is usually true.

Let's look at the reasons why.

Pixar is one of the best animation studios in the world. Their greatest films, like Up and WALL-E, became instant classics when they were released. So it might surprise you to learn that when Pixar starts a new project, the first work they produce is usually terrible!

It's natural to fail and start out less than perfectly. Even the greatest projects often have a bumpy start, and setbacks are simply part of the process. When you begin a project, there's usually some distance between where you are and where you want to be. It’s totally normal to make mistakes when learning a new skill, like playing piano or investing in the stock market.

When you're in a close relationship, you can gain insight that might reshape the way you think and behave through a process called internalization.

In short, you internalize the things that your friend or partner tells or teaches you.

Why do people invest money in stocks? They expect their investment to pay off over time.

In a similar fashion, we invest time, effort and goodwill into relationships because we expect them to improve our lives.