Thanks for the Feedback summary

We’ve all been through this: someone tells you what you’re doing wrong, but you know that they’re the one who’s really wrong. If we feel this way about someone’s feedback, we often just ignore it. But sometimes feedback like this isn’t “wrong” – we just don’t understand it.

Try to understand the intentions of the person giving you feedback before you become defensive. Look for key points in the feedback you’re receiving.

Have you ever impersonated someone, only to hear that person say, “I don’t do that,” while everyone else laughs and agrees with you? We’re often surprised to hear how others perceive us.

We literally don’t see ourselves the way others do. We can’t see how our facial expressions give away a lot more than we think they might.

Have you ever wondered why it’s easy to accept some people’s criticism, while others make you angry or dismissive?

The relationship we have with the person giving us feedback influences the way we interpret their opinions.

Tension often occurs because people are simply different. You like to relax after dinner, while I want to get the dishes done right away. That’s just how we are, right?

Sometimes we have to take a step back to see what influences our relationships. This makes it easier to accept feedback and change our behavior for the better.

Have you ever noticed how some people take feedback much better than others? Part of the way in which we accept feedback is based on our brain wiring.

Our genes define our default level of well-being. Some people are just naturally happier than others. Studies have shown that genes – rather than life experiences – cause at least 50 percent of these differences. People also have different ranges of emotions – some people are more emotional in general.

You’ve probably been in this situation: someone starts criticizing you, and you get defensive and angry. Aside from our genes, what other factors make us perceive feedback as a threat? Well, it’s also about our attitude.

We often simplify our identity to an “all or nothing” label, like “I’m a good person” or “I’m a hard worker.” These labels don’t allow for much flexibility.