Parenting summary

In a lot of ways, parenting is like a farmer growing their crops. There’s a time – let's call it a season – when you need to sow. You can’t do it all at once or whenever you want. You need to plan it. You need to fertilize it. You need to tend to it. And you need to wait.

If you’re patient and pay attention to the seasons, you’ll harvest a healthy crop when your kids grow up.

What does an athlete do when they want to win a gold medal? They practice. And then they practice some more.

It’s the same for kids during the second season of parenting. If you want them to grow up to be champions, you’re going to have to spend years 5 to 12 focused on training. This season still requires the discipline of the earlier years, but now there’s more explanation behind it.

You’ve lived a rich life. You’ve traveled the world, learned amazing things, had valuable experiences. Who wouldn’t appreciate the life-changing advice and insights you’ve collected over the years?

Your 15-year-old son or daughter, that’s who.

Life is generally pretty busy. There’s certainly no need to tell you that it’s busier with kids. The demands of work and other obligations are always going to be in conflict with the demands of being a parent. No matter how much you love your kids, if you’re not around for them to see it, that’s going to have an effect.

For kids, time is the currency of love. It’s not enough just to love them in your heart. You also need to love them in your calendar. And at the end of the day, there’s only one person who has true control over your calendar, and that’s you.

You’ve probably heard the saying: “Actions speak louder than words.” Even if this is true, don’t forget that words can be pretty loud too. And when a parent is speaking to a child, they can be deafening.

The words you choose – and don’t choose – play a huge role in how your child sees the world. And it’s through your words that you successfully influence your children. At a certain point, you can’t make your child do anything – you can only influence them with words.

All your parenting decisions should be made with the relationship in mind. As you navigate the different seasons of parenting – whether you’re disciplining, training, or coaching – make sure you plan your schedule to benefit your kids, and choose your words with care.

If you focus on strengthening and maintaining healthy relationships with your children, one day you’ll reap the benefits of grown-up children who want to be with you, even when they don’t have to be.