How Not To Be a Boy summary

Here’s some food for thought: women have been comfortable wearing pants for around a century or so, but it’s still generally unacceptable for men to wear a skirt or dress. Why is that?

Indeed, the clothing boys are expected to wear is strictly regimented.  

It might seem ridiculous, but many pregnant women still have to deal with people who assume that they’re preparing to give up their career now that a baby is on the way. And there are still those who look on in amazement when they see a man in a coffee shop looking after his toddler.

So it’s safe to say that people still buy into absurd stereotypes about gender.

There are some very particular, and often hilarious, expectations about male behavior. They’re expected to swagger, to be steely-eyed, to meet the world with a cocksure poker face – and they’re especially expected to do these things when meeting and dealing with other men.

Even going back to childhood, there is a prescribed, rough-and-tumble manner in which boys are expected to interact.

One day, while riding the bus to a school outing, Webb was approached by his classmate Gareth, who was holding a chess board in his hands.

Gareth wasn’t exactly the type of kid Webb would expect to play chess, but he agreed to play a game and started things off with the standard opening move of sending a pawn forward two squares. What happened next is a classic example of how poorly boys communicate.

Typically, teenage boys are strange creatures – all awkwardness and self-assertion, filled with both a horrible fear of sex and an overwhelming urge to experience it. Somehow, many boys still manage to get into a relationship at this stage, but having sex is no guarantee that things will get better.

Male socialization often makes for bad boyfriends.

Have you ever seen a grown man cry? Maybe it happened once, when a guy you know was overcome by emotion during a movie or a Bruce Springsteen song. Even if you have witnessed this rare sight, chances are that the man in question didn’t want you to see him engaged in such a quintessentially unmanly activity.

But on their own, behind closed doors, men are free to do all sorts of unmanly things, including bawling their eyes out.

It can be a cringeworthy moment to see a woman get berated by a man, only to have her uncomfortably smile and say, “That’s just his way of saying ‘I love you.’”

However, there is some truth to this stereotypical scenario, as it’s yet another example of how bad men are at communicating their emotions.