It's On Me Book Summary - It's On Me Book explained in key points
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It's On Me summary

Sara Kuburic

Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life

4 (107 ratings)
15 mins

Brief summary

It's On Me by Sara Kuburic is a heartfelt guide to owning your emotions and creating healthier relationships. Kuburic shares personal stories, therapeutic insights, and practical tools for self-discovery and growth.

Table of Contents

    It's On Me
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    Losing your Self

    Alex wakes up each morning and reaches for her phone. Her eyes are barely open before she begins mindlessly scrolling on social media. She then gets out of bed, rushes through her morning routine, and focuses on her upcoming day. Will she get everything done? Will she succeed or fail at work? How will she be perceived by others?

    At work, she smiles obligatorily, checks her phone during meetings, and eats lunch while barely noticing the taste. After work, she fills her time with Netflix, drinks with friends, and more social media. Each night, she crawls into bed after staring at her screen. 

    As Alex’s days blur together, she sinks deeper into a life of distraction and disconnection. In other words, Alex is experiencing self-loss.

    Self-loss is the painful yet common human experience of feeling estranged from our true being. This fragmentation represents a gap between our outer life and our inner truth. We stop making choices that reflect our essence – and the consequences are brutal. 

    So, how does self-loss manifest?

    For one, it leads to difficulty connecting with our feelings. We cope with self-loss by avoiding, suppressing, or escaping our emotions rather than fully feeling or processing them. In the physical realm, we may ignore, misuse, or objectify our bodies. Our relationships become unhealthy and one-sided as we seek external validation versus inner fulfillment. Finally, we grapple with ambiguous values and ethics – losing our sense of direction, freedom, and meaning.

    Each of these life categories illustrates how self-loss creates disconnection and misalignment with our inner truth. When we fail to know ourselves, we can’t make choices that serve us. Only by reconnecting with our inner self can we regain alignment in how we feel, act, relate, consent, and find meaning.

    Think of self-loss like living in a burning room. In Alex’s case, the creeping flames of disconnection threaten her authentic existence, but she ignores the signs of danger. The flames continue to spread, compromising Alex's identity and purpose. To avoid getting burned, she has to recognize the threat and respond to it. She must choose to take full responsibility for her existence, reconnecting with who she is and what makes her feel alive. 

    Learning to live life with authenticity isn’t easy. But what you stand to gain – or regain – is everything. It’s your very Self, with a capital S.

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    What is It's On Me about?

    It's On Me (2023) unpacks the experience of “self-loss.” It provides a revelatory process of self-reflection and acceptance to help you stop sleepwalking through life – and step into a vibrant, authentic, and purposeful you.

    It's On Me Review

    It's On Me (2021) is a profound exploration of self-care and healing from therapist Sara Kuburic. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • It offers a refreshing perspective on self-care, emphasizing the importance of taking ownership of our well-being and healing.
    • With its thought-provoking reflections on topics like boundaries, self-compassion, and personal growth, it invites readers to deeply introspect and make positive changes in their lives.
    • The book presents practical wisdom and actionable strategies to implement self-care practices, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to prioritize their mental and emotional health.

    Who should read It's On Me?

    • People going through major life transitions
    • Those feeling unfulfilled, lost, or disconnected
    • Anyone seeking tools for self-reflection and personal growth

    About the Author

    Sara Kuburic is an existential psychotherapist, consultant, and writer who focuses on helping people live authentically and meaningfully. Born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada, she draws on her rich personal experience of war and personal relationships in her work. 

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    It's On Me FAQs 

    What is the main message of It's On Me?

    The main message of It's On Me is about taking responsibility for our own happiness and emotional well-being.

    How long does it take to read It's On Me?

    The reading time for It's On Me varies, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is It's On Me a good book? Is it worth reading?

    It's On Me is a valuable read, offering practical insights for personal growth. It's definitely worth reading.

    Who is the author of It's On Me?

    The author of It's On Me is Sara Kuburic.

    What to read after It's On Me?

    If you're wondering what to read next after It's On Me, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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