Getting Past Your Breakup Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Getting Past Your Breakup

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von Getting Past Your Breakup

Name: Getting Past Your Breakup
Rating: 4.4 (124 reviews)
Author: Susan J. Elliott

Susan J. Elliott

How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

4.4 (124 Bewertungen)

16 Min.

Themen

Love

Inhaltsübersicht

Getting Past Your Breakup
in 8 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 8

What’s in it for me? Get a grip and get ready to grow.

Most of us have been there – a relationship fizzles or implodes, and a heart is left in tatters. Maybe it was a mutual decision, an amicable parting, or maybe it was a betrayal that ended with vitriolic word-bombs exploding everywhere. Whatever form they take, breakups are never easy, and they can leave you feeling like you’ve been run over by a bus. A hole has opened up in your life where there was once cuddles and hand-holding.

Here’s the good news – just like the darkness breaks into the dawn of a new day, a breakup is a time of change. But positive change can only happen if you deal with your breakup in a specific way. In these blinks, you’ll learn

why you should put down the phone;
why you probably can’t “just be friends” (at least for a while!); and
how setting boundaries can expand your world.

In order to grow after a breakup, make sure you take care of yourself and grieve.

Think back to your first breakup. It was most likely a tortuous, heart-wrenching experience, right? But fear not – breakups can actually bring some positive things with them.

All in all, going through a breakup can be the perfect opportunity for personal growth. To achieve this, you have to look after yourself and properly mourn your old relationship.

When it comes to addressing a breakup, there are three distinct ways to handle it. First, there’s the option of investing a lot of emotional energy into trying to win your ex back. Second, there’s simply pretending that nothing’s happened by continuing with your life as normal. Third, there’s taking the time to reflect on your past relationship and your life in general to deal with your emotions so that you can fully heal. The best solution is the last one, but it’s by far the hardest. Here are some initial guiding principles to get you started.

From the very beginning, you need to put yourself first. This can prove difficult, especially if you’re used to catering to your partner’s needs. The trick is to treat yourself lovingly; boost your self-esteem by getting a new haircut or an expensive manicure. You could also take on a new hobby or work on expanding your circle of friends.

Most importantly, don’t try to block out the pain by engaging in behaviors like drug taking or substituting your ex with someone new. Instead, stay in touch with your emotions and work to process through them. Dealing with your feelings in this way will lead to you becoming a stronger person; you’ll trust in your ability to overcome pain and look after yourself.

Next, you’ll learn more about the process of self-care and how to properly grieve – it all begins with putting an end to that toxic relationship.

Cut off all contact with your ex and don’t make excuses to communicate.

You and your partner have officially broken up, yet you still spend an unhealthy amount of time waiting for them to message and routinely checking their Instagram page. This behavior is understandable, but it’s not doing you any favors.

To orchestrate a successful breakup, you need to cut all lines of communication completely. That way, your ex will have no influence on your life; you’ll be able to eradicate them from your mind and steadily move on.

Losing a relationship can come as a shock, and there are strong emotions to deal with as you grieve.

Strength is seen as a desirable quality, so most people usually choose to ignore feelings of pain and confusion after a breakup. However, this isn’t going to negate suffering. You need to grieve your relationship so you can learn how to process disappointment.

First, you have to deal with the feeling of shock which comes with losing a relationship. When you’re with someone, you feel safe; hearing another person say they love you every day brings security. Suddenly, that person is out of your life without much explanation.

To help you take care of yourself, employ these simple methods.

As you’ve learned, the grieving process can involve spending a lot of time thinking about your past relationship. The key is not to dwell on this for too long – remember to shift your focus back to your own life.

It’s testing to go through the grieving process to get over your relationship. That’s why it’s so important to balance this experience with positive actions.

To help your family cope with the breakup, stay organized and talk to your children.

As most people know, a divorce can have a devastating effect on the kids involved. If your breakup concerns children, help them process the situation by communicating with them and being patient.

Sit down with your kids and explain that as parents, both you and your partner will continue to love them unconditionally. If they ask any questions, refrain from being too specific – your kids don’t need to know details. Instead, keep your answers vague; explain that you’re no longer happy together and don’t want to fight, as it’s not pleasant.

Make relationship inventories to discover harmful patterns in your relationships.

Presently, you should fully understand how to process a breakup, so it’s time to think about your relationships in general.

A relationship inventory will help you discover unhealthy patterns. Start by noting down all the positive and negative aspects of your relationship and that of your ex-partner.

Identify the situations in which you struggle to set boundaries and learn how to stand your ground.

Think back to your past relationship. In situations where you and your partner didn’t see eye to eye, were you reluctant to say no or disagree? Unfortunately, allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat is pretty common.

Now, consider the current relationships in your life – are there any boundaries that need to be set? To do this, you need to ascertain when and with whom you’re failing to make sure that your interests are heard.

Learn to be independent, and if you do find love, don’t sacrifice your passions.

After a breakup, it’s normal to start thinking about when you’ll be ready to return to dating. The answer to this question may seem a little counterintuitive: you’ll be prepared to get back into dating when you’re able to enjoy yourself and no longer feel that you need others to make you happy.

When you’re feeling strong, joyous and independent, you’re more likely to attract the right person than when you’re in a needy and insecure state. If you’re in a place where you’re dependent on a relationship to make you feel socially validated, then you’re likely to settle for much less – you’ll end up with someone who can potentially have a damaging effect on you.

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von Getting Past Your Breakup sehen?

Kernaussagen in Getting Past Your Breakup

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in Getting Past Your Breakup?

Getting Past Your Breakup (2009) provides practical advice for coming to terms with the end of a romantic relationship. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and generating happiness for yourself so you can thrive in life – with or without a significant other.

Wer Getting Past Your Breakup lesen sollte

People who are newly single
Couples who are unhappy in their relationship
Budding relationship psychologists and counselors

Über den Autor

Susan J. Elliott is a New York-based attorney and grief counselor. She’s reached millions with her seminars and runs a highly popular blog entitled Getting Past Your Past.

Kategorien mit Getting Past Your Breakup

Psychology Sex & Relationships

Ähnlich wie Getting Past Your Breakup

Love Unfu*ked

Gary John Bishop

Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together

A guide to surviving your breakup with your self-respect in tow

23 min

4.4

Conscious Uncoupling

Katherine Woodward Thomas

5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

23 min

4.1

Terrence Real

Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

20 min

4.7

The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure

Jeff Billings

How to Stop Being Jealous of Your Partner's Past in 12 Steps

13 min

3.7

Emotional Blackmail

Susan Forward with Donna Frazier

When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy

When Things Fall Apart

Pema Chödrön

Heart Advice For Difficult Times

27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single

16 min

4.4

Emotional Intelligence

How to Attract the Right Relationships and Deepen Your Connections

18 min

4.5

How to Think Like a Philosopher

Peter Cave

Scholars, Dreamers and Sages Who Can Teach Us How to Live

18 min

4.2

The Overthinking In Relationships Fix

Rodney Noble

Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship And How To Fix Them

17 min

4.3

My Philosophy for Successful Living

Jim Rohn

Life Lessons From a Master Motivator

13 min

4.2

Boundaries

Henry Cloud and John Townsend

When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

23 min

4.4

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Ramani Durvasula

Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

17 min

4.1

Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself

Joe Dispenza

How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

16 min

4.6

The 48 Laws of Power (New Version)

Robert Greene

The secret methods to getting what you want

101 Simple Truths for a Better Life

A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection

How to Make Tomorrow Better Today

Lose Weight, Supercharge Your Energy, and Sleep Well Every Night

A Brief History of Humankind

28 min

4.4

Attached

Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love

15 min

4.3

The Science of Kissing

Sheril Kirshenbaum

What Our Lips Are Telling Us

11 min

4.2

How to Be Your Own Therapist

Owen O'Kane

Boost Your Mood and Reduce Your Anxiety in 10 Minutes a Day

How to Boost Cognitive Health, Performance and Power

How the Masters of Private Equity Always Win

Minifesto for a Conscious Approach to Attention

Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Romantic Obsession

Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken

Escape 9–5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

21 min

4.1

Positivity

Barbara L. Fredrickson

Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life

Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power

End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back

An examination of the amoral game and techniques of seducers

19 min

4.0

The Drama of the Gifted Child

Alice Miller

The Search for the True Self

Why It's Not Always Rational to Be Rational

Adam and Eve’s Disobedience and the Battle Between Satan and God

The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent

22 min

4.4

Do Breathe

Michael Townsend Williams

Calm Your Mind. Find Focus. Get Stuff Done.

One Man’s Escape from North Korea

Little Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World

11 min

4.1

Women Who Love Too Much

Robin Norwood

When you keep hoping and wishing he'll change

How to Feel Alive Again

26 min

4.4

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Daniel Kahneman

Intuition or deliberation? Where you can (and can't) trust your brain

28 min

4.5

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.