Bless This Mess Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Bless This Mess

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von Bless This Mess

Name: Bless This Mess
Rating: 4.1 (61 reviews)
Author: Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell

Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell

A Modern Guide to Faith and Parenting in a Chaotic World

4.1 (61 Bewertungen)

25 Min.

Themen

Spirituality Christianity

Inhaltsübersicht

Bless This Mess
in 9 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 9

What’s in it for me? Learn how to raise progressive Christian children in changing times.

Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell are mothers who have read a lot of books on parenting without discovering much that addressed their own particular situations – that is, parents trying to raise Christian children who are also courageously progressive. Many of the books they encountered gave short shrift to sensitive topics like drugs, alcohol, and sex; those that did touch on these issues often did so in an off-putting, authoritarian manner.

So they resolved to pool their knowledge and write their own parenting book together. Baskette brought her years of experience working as a minister in some of the most progressive churches in the US, and O’Donnell provided the clinical expertise she developed working as a child psychologist over the years.

These blinks draw on their combined wisdom to provide an overview of parenting fundamentals that embody both good Christian and progressive values. They’ll also give you advice on how to navigate the nuances of sensitive topics that other guides either ignore or turn into black-and-white morality tales.

In these blinks, you’ll find out

how to raise children capable of moral reasoning;
why Christians should fight for social justice; and
why you should never have “the Talk” with your children.

Instead of trying to remodel your children, adapt your parenting style to better suit their personalities.

For too long, Christian parenting has relied on one all-too-familiar proverb: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Fortunately, most of us disagree with that piece of “advice” these days – and the Bible has more to say about child-rearing than just that.

We can find an alternative attitude worth imitating in another Biblical proverb: “Train children the right way, and when grown, they will not stray.” What makes this statement especially interesting is that the language of the original Hebrew version seems to recommend raising our kids “in accordance with their own character.”

This nuance is significant. Raising children with, rather than against, the grain of their characters involves discerning each child’s uniqueness – and then changing our own style of parenting accordingly. In other words, we need to tailor our parenting methods to fit our children, rather than trying to force them into complying with a one-size-fits-all method.

Taking this advice to heart entails considering a number of important questions: Who are these children God has given us? What are their individual strengths? What are their inclinations? And what can we, as parents, do to work with their God-given temperaments?

One of the problems we can run into when addressing these questions is ego-involvement. This term describes parents’ tendency to over-identify with the successes and failures of their children. And while it’s only natural that we root for our kids – wanting them to do well and meet their goals – we must be careful not to cross the line by replacing their dreams with our own. In short, we must avoid being too ego-involved.

In practice, this might mean learning the difference between wanting your daughter to receive a good education for her own benefit, and wanting her to go to Harvard to satisfy your ambitions. Alternatively, it might mean learning that your son will never be the academic type, and that working with his hands is what will make him happiest in life.

Relinquishing control over your children’s aims for the future can be difficult, but soul-searching of this kind is the first step in starting to change our methods of child-rearing. By separating our kids’ true temperaments and inclinations from our own imaginary ideals, we can begin to formulate new parenting strategies from the ground up.

Create a home environment that fosters your child’s sense of independence and self-motivation.

While reformulating our parenting methods might seem like a daunting task, there are a lot of places we can look to for guidance. One of them is a psychological school of thought known as self-determination theory.

According to this theory, everybody is born with an inner reserve of motivation – a fact that in-the-know parents can harness for the good of their children.

Replace simplistic moral assertions with the concept of moral ambiguity and the cultivation of empathy.

Jesus took nuanced moral stances in a time of clear-cut absolutes and stood up on behalf of social outcasts. To enable our children to do the same, the first step we can take is to introduce them to the concept of moral ambiguity. This is a form of ethical thinking that deals in moral gray areas, rather than in black-and-white notions of good and evil.

The problem is that children are familiar with the notion of good guys and bad guys from an early age – it’s a trope they encounter in nearly every form of storytelling. This makes it even more important that we help them to realize that goodies and baddies are exactly that: just a story, a fable.

Teach your children that their actions should be consistent with your family values, even when there’s no reward.

Our children are ours, but they’re also their own. In other words, they aren’t carbon copies of us, and they can’t – and won’t – follow our advice for every situation.

So how do we ensure that they adopt the values we cherish? Well, the first step is simple: define those values, and make them known.

When it comes to money, we should teach our children to be both generous and sensible.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus explicitly warned us that money and material possessions are unimportant and can even hinder our spiritual growth. In fact, he advised his disciples to give away everything they owned.

In today’s world, how can we can begin to live a life more aligned with this teaching?

We can follow Jesus’s example by teaching our children to care about others and urging them to pursue social justice.

Although we might be inclined to think of social justice as an entirely modern concern, the pursuit of kindness, fairness, and equality has a much longer history. In fact, Jesus repeatedly calls on us in the Bible to try to fix society’s ills.

To heed this call, our children must develop a sense of concern for the people around us – especially those in need. Unfortunately, many parents assume that their children will simply adopt a caring attitude as they mature. But if you don’t show your children that it’s important to be kind, they’re probably not going to magically start thinking that it is.

Nuance is paramount when discussing sensitive topics like sex, drugs, and alcohol.

For too long, parents have delivered advice on drugs, alcohol, and especially sex in the form of the dreaded “Talk” – a one-off conversation in which everything kids need to know about these sensitive topics is supposedly revealed. More often than not, this Talk is stilted, ineffective, and rife with unhelpful moral absolutes. So what might a progressive, Christian alternative to the Talk look like instead?

For a start, the Talk would stop existing in the singular. Replacing it with a series of casual but meaningful discussions is a far more effective strategy if we want to help our children make safe, informed decisions.

Small changes involving ritual, prayer, and the Bible can help bring God into the life of your family.

For Christians, Sunday is meant to be a day of rest – but, sadly, this aspiration is becoming increasingly unrealistic in our fast-paced modern world.

With all the demands life makes on our time, attention, and energy these days, how can we hope to bring religion into our daily lives?

We can overcome worry by trusting in prayer and encouraging our children to confront their fears.

As parents, if we let ourselves worry about everything that troubles us, we might be in a constant state of panic. We want the best for our children, but we know there’s so much in the world that could harm them.

Luckily, prayer can sometimes act as an antidote to anxiety. One reason for this is that praying involves recognizing that some things are beyond our control – that no matter how much we worry, there will always be things we can’t change. When we pray to God about something that’s troubling us, then, we’re acknowledging the limits of our own power as well as the futility of worry. After all, if only God can fix whatever’s worrying us, what use is our own troubled brooding?

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von Bless This Mess sehen?

Kernaussagen in Bless This Mess

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in Bless This Mess?

Bless This Mess (2019) is a parents’ guide to raising Christian children in a bewildering age. Combining spiritual wisdom with the latest thought in child psychology, the authors aim to show that there’s no reason to think of the terms “progressive” and “Christian” as contradictory when it comes to child-rearing.

Bestes Zitat aus Bless This Mess

Natural rewards are usually enough.

—Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell

Wer Bless This Mess lesen sollte

Prospective parents who want to raise their children to be both Christian and progressive
Current parents who have lost touch with their own childhood faith
Anyone interested in twenty-first century Christianity

Über den Autor

Rev. Molly Baskette is the senior minister at First Congregational Church of Berkeley, California, and has written books on a wide range of topics – including public confession, coping with grief, and the revitalization of churches. Her recent works include Standing Naked Before God and Real Good Church. Ellen O’Donnell has a PhD in clinical psychology and is a child psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital for Children and Shriners Hospital for Children in Boston. She also works as an instructor at Harvard Medical School and has authored a number of scholarly articles in academic journals, such as the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.

Kategorien mit Bless This Mess

Parenting Religion & Spirituality

Ähnlich wie Bless This Mess

Parenting

Andy & Sandra Stanley

Getting It Right

19 min

4.5

Raising a Secure Child

Kent Hoffman

How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

15 min

4.4

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

Philippa Perry

Sound parenting advice based on psychology

19 min

4.5

The Yes Brain

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity and Resilience in Your Child

19 min

4.2

No-Drama Discipline

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

17 min

4.5

Hold on to Your Kids

Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

16 min

4.5

The Power of Showing Up

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

How To Stay Crazy In Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy

Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences

23 min

4.3

Raising Cain

Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson

Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

19 min

4.1

How to Raise Successful People

Esther Wojcicki

Simple Lessons for Radical Results

21 min

4.4

The Opposite of Spoiled

Ron Lieber

Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

14 min

4.4

Emotional Intelligence

The Obstacle is the Way

Ryan Holiday

The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph

Escape Conformity, Ignite Creativity, and Become Extraordinary

The Biohacker's Guide to Getting the Body and Mind You Want

Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family

27 min

4.5

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers

Lisa Damour

Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents

Never Split the Difference (New Version)

Chris Voss and Tahl Raz

Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts

18 min

4.0

Parenting Outside the Lines

Meghan Leahy

Forget the Rules, Tap into Your Wisdom, and Connect with Your Child

How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

20 min

3.9

Who Will Cry When You Die?

Robin Sharma

Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

23 min

4.4

The Speed of Trust

Stephen M.R. Covey with Rebecca R. Merrill

The One Thing That Changes Everything

Lessons in Liberty from a Hospital Diary

How an Ancient Library of Poems, Letters, and Stories Can Transform the Way You Think and Feel About Everything

How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood

19 min

4.4

What Happened to You?

Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey

Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

27 min

4.4

The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication

John C. Maxwell

Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message

The Science and Art of Longevity

20 min

4.3

Love More, Fight Less

Gina Senarighi

Communication Skills Every Couple Needs

A Common Sense Guide to the Economy

20 min

4.5

The Willpower Instinct

Kelly McGonigal

How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters and What You Can Do to Get More of It

23 min

4.4

The Power of Discipline

Daniel Walter

How to Use Self Control and Mental Toughness to Achieve Your Goals

How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

23 min

4.4

Discipline Equals Freedom

The 7 Things Resilient People Do Differently (And How They Can Help You Succeed in Business and Life)

20 min

4.5

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Harvey Karp

The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer

10 min

4.2

Redefine Wealth for Yourself

Patrice Washington with Candice L Davis

How to Stop Chasing Money, Finally Live Your Life's Purpose and Find Fulfillment

Discovering God’s Presence and Purpose in Your Tomorrow

21 min

4.8

Brain Maker

Dr. David Perlmutter with Kristin Loberg

The Power of Gut Microbes to Heal and Protect your Brain – for Life

12 More Rules for Life

A Guide to Becoming the Best Possible Version of Yourself, One Tiny Habit at a Time

Positive Intelligence

Shirzad Chamine

Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and how You Can Achieve Yours

17 min

4.6

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.