Sacred Cows summary

If you've ever considered divorce, you'll be familiar with some difficult feelings – and you can thank the Holy Cow for not making things any easier.

The Holy Cow is a dogmatist. He or she firmly believes that marriage is inherently good and that divorcees are worse than people who abide by their marriage vows. The Holy Cow always argues for marriage and staying together, even if it compromises individual happiness.

In most relationships, there comes a time when some expert advice is needed. But be wary of the Expert Cow. She gives the same advice to everyone because she cares more about herself than your well-being.

The Expert Cow could come in the form of a clueless marriage counselor or a self-help book. Of course, not all counselors or self-help books are disingenuous, but the Expert Cow, no matter what, is geared to self-gain, particularly if there's a financial incentive. She’ll often peddle one-size-fits-all solutions, closely adhering to her own dogma.

We're all prone to a little self-doubt, but when it comes to divorce, the Defective Cow will try to milk those feelings for all they’re worth.

If you reveal to the Defective Cow that you’re thinking of getting a divorce, he'll try to convince you that you're defective in some way. This is because he values marriage above all else and wants to put the blame squarely on you.

There’s nothing quite so convincing in an argument as confidently pulling out a wad of statistics, right? The Innocent Victim Cow knows this tactic well. Unfortunately, as useful as statistics can be, they’re extremely easy to abuse. The Innocent Victim Cow will try to convince you of the negative consequences of divorce, for example by telling you that you're denying your own children happiness by prioritizing yourself.

One factoid the Innocent Victim Cow will always wheel out is the notion that the children of divorced couples are themselves more likely to divorce. True enough, there is a correlation, but it’s hardly backed by real evidence.