Mandela’s Way summary

It is admirable to be in control of yourself in tense situations. And one of the main expectations of leaders is that they always remain calm and act appropriately.

Such measured behavior may not be our natural temperament, but it is something we can develop through exercising self-discipline – a skill that Mandela knew he needed to be a successful leader.

Few people realize what a pragmatist Mandela was. He would always re-think and re-work his strategies according to changing conditions.

But not all principles are equal. It is important to decide which are indispensable and which are negotiable.

Being a complex, multifaceted man, Mandela harbored various contradictions and he was OK with that.

We too should realize that inconsistency is not a flaw: all of us are complex and it is natural that we have a variety of sometimes contradictory motives. Once, when asked about his motives for leading the anti-apartheid armed struggle – was it because nonviolence wasn’t working, or was it to prevent the ANC from falling apart? – Mandela answered, “Why not both?” As he saw it, most actions arise from multiple motives and not all are clear.

Mandela was always willing to take risks. One of the reasons he did this was because he wanted people to see that, as their leader, he would take risks on their behalf.

Mandela knew that leadership is often a display, and by showing people his capacity to lead he won trust, admiration and loyalty from his supporters.

Being up front and spearheading a movement certainly allows you to enjoy the limelight. But the limelight also has to be shared. Sometimes leaders have to move to the rear and empower others to lead.

Leading from the rear was something Mandela learned from the age of eight, as a cattle herder. He used to put some of the cleverer cattle up at the front of the herd, and then steer from the back, using a stick. Although the herd would follow the leading cattle, it was in fact the boy at the back who was guiding them all. Mandela saw this as a metaphor for how to lead people.

Mandela was always concerned with his appearance – he wore clothes that suited his role, like battle fatigues when he became a military leader, smart suits when he was a lawyer, and eventually colorful shirts when he’d been president for a while, to show that African clothing was as dignified as Western clothing. He knew how important it is to “look the part."

What he realized is that everyone judges a book by its cover – appearances do matter. Therefore making a good first impression is important.

Most of us tend to be impatient. Some even mistake impulsive behavior for “quick thinking” and being proactive. Mandela, similarly, was impatient as a young man. He wanted things to change immediately.

But 27 years in prison taught him to slow down, and to realize that, since racism, colonialism and apartheid had formed over a long period of time, it would take many years to dismantle them.

Despite decades of hardship and ill treatment in apartheid South Africa, Mandela was extraordinarily positive in his assessment of most people – even some of those who had oppressed him.

This was because he knew that no one should be judged entirely by their behavior – social pressure and ignorance can make people do terrible things, but this does not make them purely evil. He therefore rarely spoke ill of someone and preferred to see the good.

Mandela learned from his boxing coach in the 1950s that beating the opponent was not just about being fit and throwing good punches. It was also about knowing your opponent – his habitual movements and reactions during a fight.

In a similar way, this insight applies in the political arena. For most of his life, Mandela’s biggest “enemy” were the Afrikaners who maintained apartheid.

In some ways friends and enemies are equally reliable – the first are always with you, the second are always against you. But friendly rivals are somewhere in between. More than anyone else, they’re the ones you should keep close by you so that you can anticipate their next move.

Don’t just prepare for the unexpected; prepare for the expected. You can always expect your rivals to challenge you – be prepared for it.

Mandela liked to please people as much as possible. He made sure everyone experienced “the whole Mandela”: the radiant smile, the courtesy, the openness to all sides of an argument. But what he did not do was deceive people just to please them. This means that he knew when he had to say no, even if saying it would disappoint others.

Many of us are insecure and apologetic when we try to say no. This insecurity can easily be used against us. It is therefore essential to be clear and firm – not ambivalent – when we feel that no is the only right answer.