Improving Your Relationship For Dummies summary

How can someone else love you if you don’t even love yourself? Your self-esteem isn’t just about you: it has a major impact on both your relationship and your partner.

Relationship problems are often the result of low self-esteem. Everyone feels blue or insecure from time to time, but that feeling can turn into a deep-rooted anxiety if it persists long-term. And this can lead to paranoia: you might start thinking that there’s no reason for your partner to love you. Such thoughts may manifest as jealousy, for instance, or as abject dependence.

No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins have slightly different DNA. So, naturally, you and your partner will have your differences, too! Accepting that reality is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship.

There are some common personality differences that couples tend to face.

At the beginning of a relationship, you want to spend as much time with your newfound love as possible. During that sweet honeymoon period, it’s easy to find time to focus on your beloved; that’s all you want to do. As you settle into a routine, however, it usually becomes harder to make time for the relationship.

This can be dangerous. Spending quality time with your partner is vital, even when your life starts to get hectic. So keep your relationship on track by learning to separate things that are urgent from things that are merely important.

There’s a reason new relationships are so much fun. Indeed, in those early stages of romance, your body produces the same chemicals that addiction triggers. Intense feelings of attraction, butterflies in your stomach, light-headedness, a loss of appetite – all are responses to certain chemicals your body releases when you’re in love.

One of those love chemicals is dopamine, a hormone that creates feelings of pleasure. Your serotonin levels, on the other hand, drop when you’re in love, and since serotonin helps you stay calm, a decrease results in feelings of nervousness and excitement. Your brain also releases phenylethylamine, or PEA – otherwise known as the “love” molecule.

When newly in a relationship, most partners can’t keep their hands off each other. The beginning is usually the most physically exciting time. As time goes by, however, that sexual excitement tends to fade. So, let’s go over some tips for keeping your sex life fun and interesting.

Sex isn’t merely a fun and pleasurable activity. It’s actually beneficial for both partners individually, and it’s an important part of maintaining any relationship.

Everybody makes communication mistakes sometimes – it’s perfectly normal, an inevitable part of human interaction. However, if these mistakes go unrecognized and unaddressed, they can become a barrier to a relationship’s success.

As with all problems, these communication mistakes can’t be rectified until they’re identified. So, let’s go over a few of the most common stumbling blocks couples encounter when trying to communicate.

There’s no such thing as a relationship that’s free of disagreements. As we’ve seen before, all couples have their differences, and maintaining a good relationship is about managing those differences. So, let’s go over some tips for making your disagreements as healthy and productive as possible.

The first thing you need to consider is timing. Bad timing can make a small problem explode into a big one. You probably don’t want to discuss your intimacy problems on the bus, for instance. Your partner might get off before you’ve reached your stop!

Learning about a partner’s affair can be a traumatizing experience. Unfortunately, a lot of relationships don’t survive it.

Coping with an affair is hardest when the news first arrives. Both partners need time and support to process their thoughts and the situation. So, when you first learn about an affair, go to your closest friends or relatives – people who can help you get through the first and stormiest phase.