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Zusammenfassung von The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Name: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
Rating: 4.3 (344 reviews)
Author: Nathaniel Branden

Nathaniel Branden

The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field

4.3 (344 Bewertungen)

19 Min.

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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
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What’s in it for me? Learn how to nurture your self-esteem.

Self-esteem has never been a more important and debated concept than today. There’s a wealth of definitions and quick guides to achieving exemplary self-esteem, but what do we really know about this supremely important psychological concept? The author draws on a lifetime of clinical practice and research to offer a comprehensive definition.

These blinks take a journey through the six different practices for daily living that create healthy self-esteem. You’ll find out how increased awareness, acceptance, responsibility, assertiveness, purposefulness and integrity will raise your self-esteem.

You’ll also find out

what self-esteem and calcium have in common;
how upsetting your child ruins their self-esteem; and
that it’s more difficult than you’d expect to assert your own right to exist.

Self-esteem is the immune system of consciousness, essential for performing at your best.

“Ten steps to build your self-esteem!” “Five tips to gain confidence!” How many self-help gurus have you heard spout claims like these? Probably many. We hear about self-esteem all the time, but would you be able to define it?

Self-esteem is the immune system of consciousness; it provides strength, resistance, and the ability to regenerate. Just like our immune system, self-esteem is innate, and we need it to handle life’s difficulties.

Calcium is another fitting analogy for self-esteem. Calcium strengthens our teeth and bones and is essential for a healthy body, while self-esteem is vital for strong psychological development. While we wouldn’t necessarily die from a lack of calcium, our ability to live life fully would be significantly limited. The same goes for self-esteem: We don’t need it to survive, but we cannot live a full life without it. Why is this?

It’s all to do with the way our self-esteem works – by creating certain expectations about what we are capable of. These expectations influence our behavior in a way that turns them into reality. Self-esteem becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Consider the story of a recovering alcoholic from the author’s psychotherapy practice. He was about to land the biggest commission of his career as an architect, but instead of being excited, he was incredibly anxious and felt that he didn’t deserve it. Why? Because of his low self-esteem and the low expectations he had for himself. In order to steady his nerves, he chose to drink, became very drunk, behaved rudely and lost the job. Unfortunately, his low self-esteem led to his downfall.

Self-esteem is about fighting for your right to happiness and facing challenges with confidence.

Because self-esteem is so important for our consciousness, it’s worth looking into the topic a bit more, starting with the fundamental ideas it is based upon.

Self-esteem really comes down to something quite simple – we all have a right to be happy. From this, it follows that high self-esteem sees us assert this right and take steps to achieve it. On the other hand, when we let our right to happiness be overridden, we have low self-esteem.

The first pillar is the mind-set and practice of living consciously.

So what do we have to do to build self-esteem? It’s not as abstract as you might think. Let’s examine the six pillars which will guide us.

It begins with a shift in mind-set. If we want to improve our self-esteem, we must first start living consciously.

The second and third pillars of self-esteem will teach you to accept yourself and take charge of your own happiness.

Self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-esteem. The first two are so bound up in the third that it’s a little hard to see the difference – the fact that they share the same prefix doesn’t help! But the difference is clearer than you think. Self-acceptance and self-responsibility are things that we do so that we can increase our self-esteem as a result.

When we choose to value ourselves, we’re practicing self-acceptance, the second pillar of self-esteem.

The fourth pillar of self-esteem is self-assertiveness – this entails standing up for yourself, which is more difficult than you might think.

“I have a right to exist” – it’s a statement you can agree with, right? Now here’s a challenge for you: say those words out loud. Even when you’re on your own, doing this feels a little embarrassing. But why?

Most of us don’t realize this, but we often struggle to assert such a basic right. To highlight this, the author asked his class of psychology students if they believed that they had a right to exist. Everyone agreed, but when asked to say that statement out loud, they tensed up and even sounded fearful.

The fifth and sixth pillars are living purposefully and practicing personal integrity.

How do you want to live your life? Many would say “with purpose and integrity.” As it turns out, these two qualities are also vital pillars for healthy self-esteem.

As we build our confidence, it’s essential that we first take responsibility for our goals. By asking yourself what you want and where you want to go, you’ve already started to take the fifth pillar of self-esteem, living purposefully, as your guide. But that’s not enough. You have to continue to monitor your own progress.

Parents and teachers have a central role in nurturing a child’s self-esteem.

So far, we’ve explored the self-esteem-bolstering actions and mind-sets that lie within our own power. But there’s another factor that can be hugely influential on our self-esteem – the people that have been with us from the beginning of our lives, our parents.

Parents can make it both easier and harder for a child to develop self-esteem. A study by psychologist Stanley Coopersmith found that while parental factors such as social class, money, education and geography didn’t contribute to a child’s self-esteem, the quality of the relationship did.

Successful companies foster high self-esteem in their employees.

So far we’ve seen how self-esteem can be useful in our personal lives. But what about the workplace?

There’s been a surge in entrepreneurship in recent decades: by the late 1980s, up to 700,000 new enterprises were being founded every year, compared to only 100,000 during the peak years of the 1960s. With this entrepreneurial explosion came an urgent need for leaders and employees who were capable of self-direction, personal responsibility and initiative. These are all traits fostered by high self-esteem.

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Worum geht es in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem?

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem shows us that building confidence in ourselves is just a matter of taking a few simple steps. Healthy self-esteem is something we can achieve not just as individuals, but in our relationships and communities too.

Bestes Zitat aus The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

To trust ones mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.

—Nathaniel Branden

Wer The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem lesen sollte

Anyone interested in taking concrete steps to boost their own self-esteem
Anyone who’d like to learn how to build a culture that supports self-esteem

Über den Autor

Nathaniel Branden is an American psychotherapist and writer. He has written numerous books on the topic of self-esteem, such as The Psychology of Self-Esteem, How to Raise Your Self-Esteem and The Power of Self-Esteem.

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