You Can Heal Your Life summary

What kind of problems do you have in your life right now? Maybe your back aches all the time or you get constant headaches. Or maybe you’re an artist without inspiration or an unemployed person struggling to make ends meet. Maybe you’re single and lonely and longing for that special someone. Whatever your problem is, the best way to start solving it is to focus your energy on the main problem causing the rest: you don’t love yourself.

Loving yourself is easier said than done, of course – so then, where to begin?

Do you ever wake up, see storm clouds outside, and think to yourself, Ugh, what a terrible day? If so, let’s pause a moment and consider that judgment. What’s really so terrible about the day? The fact that it’s wet and gray? The fact is that the only thing keeping you from having a good day is the negative attitude you bring to it.

This is the key message: Your power lies in the present moment – and each thought creates your reality. 

By this point, you’re probably getting a headache pondering all the trouble your thoughts might be causing you. But according to the author, the bad news doesn’t stop there: because your thoughts may be causing physical problems as well. In many ways, she notes, your body mirrors your negative beliefs about yourself, and thinking this way long enough creates visible effects.

Don’t believe it? Just look at anyone walking around with a scowl on their face. Do you imagine they’re thinking happy thoughts?

What do you do when you feel uncomfortable? Do you leave the room? Change the subject? Avoid eye contact? Procrastinate by doing busywork or cleaning the house? Doomscroll on your phone? No matter what you do to escape yourself, it’s all resistance.

But resistance to what, exactly? Well, that’s actually the point.

As you begin to heal and release the need for your toxic behaviors, you’ll probably experience some discomfort. To cope with this, it might help to picture your inner child as undisciplined, allowed to stay up late whenever it wants. Now, by working to let go of resistance, it’s as if you’re trying to institute a strict bedtime. Sure, the child will kick and scream at first, but stick to it and soon enough the new routine will establish itself. And, perhaps for the first time ever, you’ll realize that you’re in control.

And as this process unfolds, watch for discomfort. Perhaps as you change you’re noticing friction in your relationships, either in your personal life or in your work life. Having just given up a bad habit or thought pattern, you’re now seeing your life with more clarity and the discomfort is a good indicator of what’s no longer working for you.

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I wasn’t so broke all the time? Or, I don’t want to be so fat, so lonely, so unhappy? While these thoughts may lead you in the right direction, they’re still negative, as the author points out. And since you manifest whatever you think, too much negative thinking will bring negativity into your life.

The key message here is: The secret to loving yourself is learning to think in positive affirmations.