Name: Spare
Rating: 4.1 (615 reviews)
Author: Prince Harry

What’s in it for me? The Spare’s side of the story.

You’ve probably heard the stories already. The death of Diana … the royal scandals and controversies … Meghan Markle …

These stories are everywhere. Unavoidable. Every day, there’s something in the news about Prince Harry, or someone in his family. Even if you’re not that interested in the royals, you can’t help but catch at least bits of their lives.

So maybe you feel like you know Harry, and you already have an opinion of him.

Perhaps you feel sorry for the man who lost his mother at a young age, in such tragic and public circumstances.

Or you judge the man who once thought it was acceptable to dress up as a Nazi.

You think Harry was right to cut ties with the royal family.

Or you think he betrayed them.

Whatever your opinion, and whatever you think you know, this Blink may change your mind. Reading about Harry in the papers is one thing. Hearing his side of the story is quite another.

Of course, we won’t be able to explore the complex dynamics of all the royal relationships, or delve into the details of every scandal. There’s a lot to unpack. In an interview, Harry revealed that his 400-page memoir was originally twice as long, and that it was hard knowing what to leave out.

So, in this short Blink, we’ll focus on just a few important relationships and key moments from Harry’s life.

You’ll get a glimpse of what it’s like to be a royal. And you’ll discover why Harry ended up essentially resigning from the family, and leaving the country.

First though, maybe you’re wondering about that title. Why “Spare?” Well, that in itself is quite revealing.

As a royal, but also “the Spare,” Harry has had a uniquely abnormal life.

On the day of Harry’s birth, Prince Charles allegedly said to Diana, “Wonderful! Now there’s an Heir and a Spare.”

William was the firstborn – the heir to the throne – while Harry, the second son, was “the Spare.”

Presumably, Charles’s comment was a joke. But Harry’s parents and grandparents often talked about him in this way, making it clear that he was the back-up.

From an early age, Harry knew exactly what his role was. He was aware that his father and brother, who were first and second in line to the throne, could never take the same flight, in case the plane crashed. But there were no such rules for Harry. The Spare could be, well, spared.

Harry says that he took no offense at this. He accepted his role in the family. But now, as an adult, reflecting on his family and his identity, he realizes just how abnormal his life has been.

For instance, take his relationship with his father. Charles is not just Harry’s father, but also his boss and his banker. Or at least, he was, until Harry’s exit from royal life – we’ll get to that later. The point is, it’s not a typical father-son relationship.

It’s true that when Harry was growing up, there were some normal, loving moments between them.

Harry has fond memories of his father comforting him when he was a child. He used to be afraid of the dark, and at bedtime, Charles would sit beside him, gently tickling his face until he fell asleep. And he always called Harry his “darling boy.”

But for the most part, Harry recalls his father being a distant parent, who found communicating difficult. Charles preferred to tell his son how proud he was through letters, left on Harry’s pillow, rather than face-to-face.

And Charles wasn’t much of a hugger. In that, he seems to have taken after his mother, Queen Elizabeth. Apparently, she once swerved to avoid a hug from Diana – quite the awkward moment for them both!

But a lack of physical affection was far from Harry’s only issue growing up. Because of his royal status, every attempt to lead a normal life was thwarted in some way.

At school, he had armed bodyguards down the hall. When he was a teenager, they were waiting for him outside the pub, too.

It’s hard to live anything resembling a normal existence when you have to be escorted by bodyguards everywhere you go. Public transport is out of the question, though Harry did take the Tube once, on a school trip.

As an adult, Harry managed to enjoy occasional moments of freedom. For example, he would go to the supermarket on his own.

But each outing was planned like a military operation. He would go in disguise – a loose coat and a low baseball cap – and at different times of day, to throw off the press. He even memorized the layout of the store, so he could get in and out as quickly as possible.

Lack of freedom and privacy have been recurring issues in Harry’s life – a cause of stress and frustration. But of course, nothing has impacted him quite like the events of that night in August 1997.

It took Harry many years to come to terms with Diana’s death.

Harry was 12 years old. In the middle of the night, he was woken up by his father coming into his room.

“Darling boy,” said Charles, “Mummy was in a car crash.” Harry doesn’t remember exactly what was said next, but he recalls one phrase with total clarity – “She didn’t make it.”

The press have been targeting Harry since he was a teenager.

Given the circumstances of his mother’s death, you can probably understand Harry’s hostility towards the press.

For years, it’s been a mutually antagonistic relationship. The press may have been sympathetic to the bereaved 12-year-old, but not long after that, Harry was fair game.

Harry’s girlfriends have also had to endure constant press harassment.

With the press watching Harry’s every movement, it was inevitable – any woman he dated would also end up being followed by the paparazzi. And while Harry was used to the harassment, it was a shock to his girlfriends.

Once, his girlfriend Chelsy found a tracking device on her car. She told Harry that she wasn’t sure if she could cope with a lifetime of being stalked. Harry understood perfectly. So they broke up.

Final Summary

Reflecting on his life so far, Harry recognizes that there’s a common theme in nearly all his problems – the press, and their obsession with tormenting members of the royal family, and turning them against each other.

What a shame that it had to come to this – Harry and Meghan feeling compelled to flee the country.

Kernaussagen in Spare