Emotional Agility Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Emotional Agility

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von Emotional Agility

Name: Emotional Agility
Rating: 4.4 (321 reviews)
Author: Susan David

Susan David

Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

4.4 (321 Bewertungen)

19 Min.

Themen

Zufriedenheit Erfolg

Inhaltsübersicht

Emotional Agility
in 8 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 8

What’s in it for me? Learn to deal with your emotions as they arise.

“I’m not good enough,” “If only I were a better partner,” “I’ll never be able to handle that presentation tomorrow”– do any of these thoughts sound familiar? They probably do.

Unfortunately, our inner voice often sounds like a drill sergeant whose sole job is to make harsh judgments and create a swirl of negative emotions.

In these blinks, you’ll learn how to see these self-deprecating words for the distortions that they truly are. You’ll be presented with ways to unhook yourself from the unhelpful patterns and negative emotions that are created by the distorted stories your mind creates. And you’ll learn that being emotionally agile means dealing with your emotions as they arise, an ability that is sure to benefit your relationships and your work, not to mention your relationship with yourself.

You’ll also learn

why you don’t have to force a smile if you don’t feel like smiling;
how downplaying your weaknesses can actually make you less self-confident; and
that people who claim to like playing golf are often just kidding themselves.

The human brain can create distorted stories based on lived experience.

It’s long been known that great movies need a great “hook,” a simple device that motivates the characters and gets the story moving. But hooks exist outside of film, too. In fact, we often get hooked into the story of our own life in the same way.

From one moment to the next, our brains are constantly trying to make sense of our experiences and turn them into a coherent story about our lives. They create narratives from billions of pieces of sensory input.

For instance, the author’s basic “story” goes like this: "I am waking up and getting out of bed. The small person jumping at me is my daughter. I grew up in Johannesburg, but I currently live in New York. I need to get up today because I’m a social worker."

As long as things are simple and positive, it’s not tricky. But the story construction often goes awry.

The issue is that the stories our minds manufacture are rarely accurate. Instead, they distort reality, often in a negative way. And that’s not good because misrepresentation produces negative emotions.

For instance, let’s say your parents separated soon after your birth. You might blame yourself for their divorce, even though you’re completely innocent. Or you might think you’ll always be unloved because you were a shy, introverted child in a family of extroverts.

These kinds of distortions happen every day, and the results can be harmful. Imagine you’re at loggerheads with your boss, but, instead of addressing the issue directly, the event negatively clouds your thinking and so you go home and snap at your spouse because she forgot to run the dishwasher. Thanks to distortion, you’ve not only failed to resolve the conflict with your boss; you’ve riled up your partner, too.

Put simply, we rarely see our lives as they really are. Rather, we weave distorted stories that make us emotionally unhappy. Emotional agility is the ability to step back from the emotions and figure out what needs to change.

So how should we set about unraveling this mess?

Pretending we’re happy gets us nowhere – and negative emotions can have an upside.

Are you ever annoyed by the relentlessly cheerful people who see the world through rose-tinted glasses? Surely it can’t be healthy for them to keep smiling through breakups and bereavements, can it?

The simple truth is that it’s not. Forced optimism avails nothing, and avoiding negative emotions by forcing a smile and thinking positive – though a common strategy – tends to do more harm than good.

Start Showing Up for your emotions by using self-compassion.

Many of us imagine our emotions, especially painful ones, as some sort of many-headed monster out to get us. When faced with such a beast, you’d instinctively want to get away as fast as possible. But, in fact, it’s much better to stand your ground and face the monster. This is the first stage in dealing with your emotions: Showing Up. But how do you do it?

Well, experience shows that self-compassion is the best way to deal with painful emotions. The path to self-compassion isn’t always easy to follow, but it’s worth walking – and it begins with recognizing and listening to your emotions.

You can Step Out of destructive emotions by practicing mindfulness.

Is there something that’s niggling at you? You know, something that’s really getting your goat? Classically, people tend to find professional or relationship problems the most troublesome. So, to deal with such situations, choose an object, such as a chair or a pillow, and let it act as a stand-in for your problem. Now yell at it – just scream out everything you feel.

It’s a fun exercise. But it’s also helpful, since it allows you to Step Out of your problem by externalizing your feelings, which, in turn, will enable you to see it from a fresh, external perspective. Once you’ve done this, you’ll have an easier time thinking calmly about the destructive emotions that may have given rise to the problem in the first place.

It may be difficult making decisions that are truly your own, but it's important to take the time to do so.

In 2000, Tom Shadyac, the director of Hollywood blockbusters like Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, seemed to be on top of the world. He was successful; he was rich; he was still relatively young.

But he wasn’t happy. He’d spent years working toward an ideal life, and yet, when he got there, he longed for something different, something simpler.

You can Move On in your emotional life by improving your availability for emotional bonding.

Consider this normal relationship quarrel. Cynthia's been scrimping and saving for years. And now David, Cynthia’s partner, wants to splurge the money on a family trip to the Grand Canyon.

Well, this is actually a real-life example from a 2004 study. Cynthia and David were actually being filmed as they argued, as psychologists Driver and Gottmann attempted to work out what made couples tick by looking at various emotional factors.

Stay at the top of your game by making sure you’re challenged and stimulated – but within reason!

Do you remember what it took to learn to ride a bike? The excitement, the crashes, the elation when you finally managed to keep it going straight?

Does cycling still bring you the same feelings? Of course not. It’s now just run-of-the-mill.

When we’re not emotionally agile, we get stuck. At that point, we should take steps to free ourselves.

It's easy to get the wrong impression of someone. The person might seem picture perfect, with a good job and a close family, but then, after you’ve exchanged a few words, you might get the sense that a nervous breakdown is brewing, and that he or she is in fact stuck in emotional distress.

When we’re not emotionally agile, we get stuck.

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von Emotional Agility sehen?

Kernaussagen in Emotional Agility

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in Emotional Agility?

Emotional Agility (2016) provides the theories and tools that will emancipate you from the fickle rule of your emotions. If you can distance yourself from the knots of anger and fear in your stomach, you can gradually learn to unwind and heal.

Bestes Zitat aus Emotional Agility

These dubious, inaccurate stories leave us conflicted or waste our time.

—Susan David

Wer Emotional Agility lesen sollte

Multitaskers who work a job and also take care of a family
Psychologists and life coaches
Emotional people who need help dealing with the world at large

Über den Autor

Susan David is a medical psychologist. She runs the Institute of Coaching at the McLean Hospital, in Massachusetts, and has worked for major companies as a consultant. Her writings have been published in the Harvard Business Review and the Wall Street Journal.

Kategorien mit Emotional Agility

Liebe & Sex Persönliche Entwicklung

Ähnlich wie Emotional Agility

Get Momentum

Jason W. Womack and Jodi Womack

How to Start When You’re Stuck

12 min

3.9

Anger Management for Dummies

Charles H. Elliott & Laura L. Smith

Your One-Stop Guide to Anger Management

13 min

4.0

Emotional Intelligence

How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life

21 min

4.3

Self-Love Workbook for Women

Megan Logan

Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are

17 min

4.8

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

Discover how to Increase your EQ

11 min

4.1

No Hard Feelings

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

21 min

4.3

The Worry-Free Mind

Carol Kershaw and Bill Wade

Train Your Brain, Calm the Stress Spin Cycle, and Discover a Happier, More Productive You

The 7 Things Resilient People Do Differently (And How They Can Help You Succeed in Business and Life)

What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

21 min

4.1

Unmasking the Face

Paul Ekman and Wallace V. Friesen

A Guide to Recognizing Emotions From Facial Expressions

25 min

3.4

7 Strategies for Wealth & Happiness

Jim Rohn

Power Ideas from America's Foremost Business Philosopher

Face Not-Good-Enough to Replace Your Doubts, Achieve Your Goals, and Unlock Your Success

21 min

4.3

The Origin of Everyday Moods

Robert E. Thayer

Managing Energy, Tension, and Stress

29 min

4.4

What Happened to You?

Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey

Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

27 min

4.4

How Emotions Are Made

Lisa Feldman Barrett

The Secret Life of the Brain

The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

29 min

4.6

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R. Covey

Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

The Mind Management Program for Confidence, Success and Happiness

19 min

4.3

The Happiness Hypothesis

Jonathan Haidt

Putting Ancient Wisdom and Philosophy to the Test of Modern Science

The secrets of 40 millionaires' wealth, revealed

15 min

4.4

Search Inside Yourself

Chade-Meng Tan

The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace)

The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know

A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings

17 min

4.3

How to Talk to Anyone

Leil Lowndes

92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness

Daily Practices and Inspiration for Caring for Yourself

How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation

28 min

4.3

Nonviolent Communication

Marshall B. Rosenberg

Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way

Your War with a New Financial World Order and How to Fight Back

17 min

3.3

Excellent Advice for Living

Kevin Kelly

Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier

Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time

17 min

3.6

Surrounded by Setbacks

Thomas Erikson

Turning Obstacles into Success (When Everything Goes to Hell)

Why It's Not Always Rational to Be Rational

Developing Mental Agility and Resilience to Thrive in Uncertainty

The Journey Beyond Yourself

12 min

4.4

That Little Voice in Your Head

Mo Gawdat

Adjust the Code That Runs Your Brain

A revolutionary approach to get the most out of working in a group

The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

23 min

4.3

The Coaching Habit

Michael Bungay Stanier

Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

13 min

4.6

Rest

Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

Why You Get More Done When You Work Less

How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love, and Happiness

Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

27 min

4.6

A Wealth of Common Sense

Ben Carlson

Why Simplicity Trumps Complexity in Any Investment Plan

14 min

4.1

Crucial Accountability

Kerry Patterson

Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior

11 min

4.5

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

Amy Morin

Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

Create a Life You Really Love with Less Stress and More Flow

16 min

4.3

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.