The Work-Life Balance Myth summary

“How are you?” is one of the most common questions we ask each other every day. If you’re finding it hard to manage stress, you might at best answer, “I’m OK” – or, at worst, launch into a frantic tirade about all the responsibilities ahead of you.

By contrast, the author – an executive coach – has noticed that clients who’re able to handle stress well answer something along the lines of, “Things are hectic now, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.” No matter what they’re going through, their answers demonstrate confidence in their ability to face current pressures, while looking forward to the future.

The first step in the Seven-Slice Method is to take an inventory of each area of your life. Of course, if you’re already feeling consumed by work and family, it can be daunting to step back and see that you’re neglecting values you hold dear. But the advantage of the Seven-Slice Method is precisely in identifying the dormant slices that you need to tend to.

The key message is this: Assess the seven areas of your life to determine where you need to direct attention.

Most people don’t neglect areas of their lives willingly, or even consciously. You might have lost your social life because you’re busy with work and family obligations. Or maybe you stopped attending your book club during a hectic period and never picked it back up.

When confronted with activities you used to enjoy, you might shrug and say, Sadly, I don’t have time for that anymore. This dismissive response is normal when you’re already feeling overwhelmed. That’s why the key is to start as small as possible.

One of the author’s clients, a businessman named Dan, found that he spent zero percent of his life on his Emotional Slice. He knew that couldn’t continue, given that he was having problems in all of his interpersonal relationships – including at work, where colleagues complained he was sometimes “tone deaf” or disengaged.

The author recommended a crash course in emotional intelligence, and Dan agreed that this didactic approach reflected his preferred learning method. During his emotional intelligence training, Dan and the author profiled people in Dan’s life so that he could start to “read” them better. This experience of learning more about what people were thinking and feeling meant that Dan’s own Emotional Slice began to awaken.

Picture a symphony orchestra getting set to perform. The musicians are waiting for the conductor to tap his music stand. They raise their instruments. In response to the conductor’s signals, the orchestra begins to perform as a unit. As its members play, the conductor communicates when the violins should take the lead, when the trumpets should pause, and so on, all while keeping time.

In the same way, you’re the conductor of your own orchestra, and you have seven instruments to conduct. To maintain the depth and texture of the music, you need each instrument to be present and successful – but ultimately, it’s up to you to bring about your own sense of harmony.