Steal the Show summary

Every role has a script and a costume. Take one of the most common parts many of us play – the “professional.” We tend to speak and dress in certain ways when we’re at work. Things that we might talk about with our friends just don’t feel right in the office. Come Monday morning, we leave those comfortable old jeans in the wardrobe and pick something better suited to our workplace persona.

It’s an act, but it’s an important one. Mixing the personal with the professional often ends badly. If Sam from accounts starts recounting his latest late-night adventures, he may damage his standing among his increasingly uncomfortable colleagues. If Suzie goes around telling others that she doesn’t believe she deserved her recent promotion, her subordinates are unlikely to respect her authority.  

We talked a little about authenticity in the previous blink, but we didn’t define the term. So what exactly is it? Oftentimes, it’s understood as “being true to yourself.” That’s not a bad gloss, but it raises another question: What kind of “self” are we talking about? 

That might sound pretty abstract, but it’s an important distinction. Take a 2015 article by organizational psychologist Herminia Ibarra in the Harvard Business Review. Ibarra argues that our “self-concept” can either “keep us from sailing forth” or help us become more adaptable. 

Have you ever heard the phrase “dialogue of the deaf?” It refers to conversations among people who aren’t listening to one another and are simply waiting for the right moment to jump in with their own well-rehearsed talking points. 

It’s a frustrating experience that plays out in boardrooms and bedrooms around the world every day, and it creates a vicious circle. The less you’re listening, the less likely you are to respond in interesting ways. That, in turn, means that your conversation partner is less likely to bother listening to you. 

We’ve all been there. You’re walking towards the podium or entering a conference room when you suddenly get a familiar antsy sensation in your stomach. Your focus narrows and the only thought in your head is a dull, monotonous refrain – “you don’t belong here.” 

That’s your inner critic rebelling against your turn in the spotlight, and it’s something that plenty of actors experience every time they take to the stage. In this blink, we’ll wrap things up by looking at some of the techniques they use to beat these self-defeating patterns of thought.